Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
The current technology
systems
are increasingly being used to monitor the act
of city-dwellers. In many cases, some Replace the word
activities
people
being monitored are unaware that this
is happening. It is a tendency to believe that the
advance technology has led to the high quality of Correct article usage
apply
security
systems
and bring various benefits to the citizen. However
, I believed that the disadvantages from
the monitoring Change preposition
of
cameras
might outweigh the advantages in terms of the
privacy.
According to Correct article usage
apply
this
essay, there are certain security
systems
that use the cameras
to monitor people
in some specific areas for the safety rules. For example
, the CCTV in the airport or the heat cameras
in the immigration segments that need to monitor the people
behavior
or the luggage which may Change the spelling
behaviour
contains
harmful stuff. Change the verb form
contain
This
is a worldwide rule and everybody accept this
kind of monitor. Thus
, the advance security
systems
need to be accepted by most of the citizen or it need
to be globalized rules.
From another point of view, there is Change the verb form
needs
the
Correct article usage
a
security
system that tracking people
in the city through their cellphone or email. For instance
, China is well-known
country that uses Add an article
a well-known
the well-known
the
Correct article usage
apply
security
systems
to track the
citizen’s personal information via their cellphone or Correct article usage
apply
the
identification number. In some stage of China using the Correct article usage
apply
cameras
to record the
Correct article usage
apply
people
behaviors
; thereby the employers can ask the government for the video as Change the spelling
behaviours
a primary evidence
to make a decision before they accept the employees. Remove the article
primary evidence
a piece of primary evidence
a shred of primary evidence
This
kind of monitoring is overwhelmed. The city-dwellers should have right
to keep their own information, the privacy is Add an article
the right
the
basic human right for everyone.
In conclusion, there are pros and cons of the Correct article usage
a
security
systems
that can secure and harm people
at the same time. However
, I think that the disadvantages of this
development are outweighed the advantages. I believe that monitor the security
though the people
conversation and action are the systems
that should not happens
in Change the verb form
happen
the
Correct article usage
a
democracy
society.Replace the word
democratic
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite