Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The current technology
systems
are increasingly being used to monitor the
act
Replace the word
activities
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of city-dwellers. In many cases, some
people
being monitored are unaware that
this
is happening. It is a tendency to believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advance technology has led to the high quality of
security
systems
and bring various benefits to the citizen.
However
, I believed that the disadvantages
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the monitoring
cameras
might outweigh the advantages in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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privacy. According to
this
essay, there are certain
security
systems
that use the
cameras
to monitor
people
in some specific areas for the safety rules.
For example
, the CCTV in the airport or the heat
cameras
in the immigration segments that need to monitor the
people
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
or the luggage which may
contains
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contain
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harmful stuff.
This
is a worldwide rule and everybody accept
this
kind of monitor.
Thus
, the advance
security
systems
need to be accepted by most of the citizen or it
need
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needs
show examples
to be globalized rules. From another point of view, there is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
security
system that tracking
people
in the city through their cellphone or email.
For instance
, China is
well-known
Add an article
a well-known
the well-known
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country that uses
the
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apply
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security
systems
to track
the
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apply
show examples
citizen’s personal information via their cellphone or
the
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apply
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identification number. In some stage of China using the
cameras
to record
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
; thereby the employers can ask the government for the video as
a primary evidence
Remove the article
primary evidence
a piece of primary evidence
a shred of primary evidence
show examples
to make a decision before they accept the employees.
This
kind of monitoring is overwhelmed. The city-dwellers should have
right
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the right
show examples
to keep their own information, the privacy is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
basic human right for everyone. In conclusion, there are pros and cons of the
security
systems
that can secure and harm
people
at the same time.
However
, I think that the disadvantages of
this
development are outweighed the advantages. I believe that monitor the
security
though the
people
conversation and action are the
systems
that should not
happens
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happen
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
democracy
Replace the word
democratic
show examples
society.
Submitted by noppapat_k on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Surveillance
  • 2. Monitoring
  • 3. Cell phone tracking
  • 4. Security cameras
  • 5. Public safety
  • 6. Law enforcement
  • 7. Privacy concerns
  • 8. Personal freedom
  • 9. Autonomous
  • 10. Breach of trust
  • 11. Misuse of information
  • 12. Institutional integrity
  • 13. Psychological impact
  • 14. Mental well-being
  • 15. Societal trust
  • 16. Paranoia
  • 17. Transparency
  • 18. Stringent regulations
  • 19. Criminal deterrence
  • 20. Apprehension of criminals
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