IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that advertisements are becoming useful and successful to let
people
Use synonyms
 purchase the products, while other
people
Use synonyms
 tend towards the
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 that advertising is very widespread and there is no need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it. In my point of view, I would have to support the idea that advertising is important and it is doing great with
people
Use synonyms
 to buy anything. On the one hand, there are clear arguments that advertising is a beneficial way to make
people
Use synonyms
 purchase. One of the main reasons can be that advertising about any product gives vast information about it with several features
such
Linking Words
 as the colour, the taste, the uses, the smell and more. The
second
Linking Words
 reason could be that televisions are the popular means of modern devices in our developed world, and it is the major source of advertising for decades.
This
Linking Words
 means that all
people
Use synonyms
 could watch the advertisements via TV.
For instance
Linking Words
, the advertisements
of
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
 food goods on television may provide the customers with various details about
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 shape, so they can remember the product while buying it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is often argued that in
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 advertising is already common.
People
Use synonyms
 usually have
this
Linking Words
 opinion because they believe that social media replaced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertising. The main reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays are interested in smart appliances than advertising. A particularly good example here is that online stores can provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the goods without advertising them on many sources. To sum up, while
people
Use synonyms
 may vary in their opinions, I believe that advertising
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to buy anything.
Submitted by Mariam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: