IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#country #health #service #treatments
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Affordable health
services
Use synonyms
 are the foremost priority of any government to maintain the well being of their own citizens. Though, some
services
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 are expensive to avail
due
Change preposition
of due
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 to the costs incurred for
state
Add an article
the state
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 of the art technologies. I completely believe that authorities should
bare
Correct your spelling
bear
show examples
 the cost and provide
services
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 without charging a single penny.
Firstly
Linking Words
, unemployed and aged care citizens might need
attention
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in
Verify preposition usage
to
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 accessing
services
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 due to the high costs involved.
For example
Linking Words
, if some has been out of work
from
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for
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 a long period of time and needs urgent medical
attention
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 it is quite difficult for him to pay for the
services
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 due to his ongoing problem.
Similarly
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, with aged
citizens
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,citizens
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 it is imperative that governments protect them with utmost care as a part of their well being by not asking them to fork out money.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 advancements in the medical field incur
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of expenditure it is the prime duty of concerned authorities to protect their own people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, access to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
free
services
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 should be prioritised. There may be an increasing number of people looking to benefit
the
Change preposition
from the
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 option,
however
Linking Words
,
attention
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 should be given
those
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to those
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 who need immediate
attention
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.
For instance
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, in any
circumstance
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,circumstance
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 critical emergencies
such
Linking Words
 as heart, and
cancer related
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cancer-related
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 diseases should be placed on priority leaving others non prioritised. People ailing
with
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from
show examples
such
Linking Words
 diseases need higher focus and access to special
services
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 and treatments.
Hence
Linking Words
,
managements
Correct your spelling
management
show examples
 should make these
services
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 free of cost and limit the patients due to
execessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
 costs involved. In conclusion, despite the
upgradation
Correct your spelling
up-gradation
 of
services
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 and treatments to save the lives of human
beings
Add a comma
,beings
show examples
 it is important that governments should fund and support
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 care system for the welfare of their own nationals.
Submitted by karthikaare27 on

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