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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#country #health #service #treatments
Affordable health
services
 are the foremost priority of any government to maintain the well being of their own citizens. Though, some
services
 are expensive to avail
due
Change preposition
of due
show examples
 to the costs incurred for
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
 of the art technologies. I completely believe that authorities should
bare
Correct your spelling
bear
show examples
 the cost and provide
services
 without charging a single penny.
Firstly
, unemployed and aged care citizens might need
attention
in
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 accessing
services
 due to the high costs involved.
For example
, if some has been out of work
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a long period of time and needs urgent medical
attention
 it is quite difficult for him to pay for the
services
 due to his ongoing problem.
Similarly
, with aged
citizens
Add a comma
,citizens
show examples
 it is imperative that governments protect them with utmost care as a part of their well being by not asking them to fork out money.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 advancements in the medical field incur
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of expenditure it is the prime duty of concerned authorities to protect their own people.
Furthermore
, access to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
free
services
 should be prioritised. There may be an increasing number of people looking to benefit
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
 option,
however
,
attention
 should be given
those
Change preposition
to those
show examples
 who need immediate
attention
.
For instance
, in any
circumstance
Add a comma
,circumstance
show examples
 critical emergencies
such
 as heart, and
cancer related
Add a hyphen
cancer-related
show examples
 diseases should be placed on priority leaving others non prioritised. People ailing
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
such
 diseases need higher focus and access to special
services
 and treatments.
Hence
,
managements
Correct your spelling
management
show examples
 should make these
services
 free of cost and limit the patients due to
execessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
 costs involved. In conclusion, despite the
upgradation
Correct your spelling
up-gradation
 of
services
 and treatments to save the lives of human
beings
Add a comma
,beings
show examples
 it is important that governments should fund and support
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 care system for the welfare of their own nationals.
Submitted by karthikaare27 on

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