Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people

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Television was one of the greatest

invention

Change to a plural noun

inventions

show examples

20th

Correct article usage

the 20th

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century.

However

Linking Words

, there is a serious

dicussion

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discussion

going on whether televisions are needed due to

its

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their

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bad influence

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individual lives. In my opinion, I agree with the statement. Most of the people have televisions at their houses. It has become a part of their entertainment

time

Use synonyms

. With the advancement in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology and OTT platforms, televisions have become unavoidable from

Correct your spelling

everyone's

everyones

Change to a genitive case

everyone's

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life and made them stop going outside to

theaters

Change the spelling

theatres

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

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since they could enjoy from their home itself which makes the less sociable and communicative with outsiders.

Moreover

Linking Words

, The size and

the

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apply

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clarity has

also

Linking Words

changed which makes them watch it without any boredom.

For instance

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, companies like Sony and

samsung

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Samsung

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manufactures high definition screens

with

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low prices and additional offers.

This

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could be a reason why

peoplehave

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people have

become irresponsible and spend their

time

Use synonyms

with no meaning.

However

Linking Words

, there are other reasons too.

Additionally

Linking Words

, with the arrival of new news channels, many elderly people spend so many hours watching the daily updates. As there are no other leisure activities for them, it makes them watch current affairs without any breaks.

For example

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, at my house, my

grand father

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grandfather

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watches around 5 to 6 hours daily

infront

Correct your spelling

in front

of the television, which

also

Linking Words

is very dangerous to their eyesight as most of them

loses

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lose

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their vision because of stressing their eyesight.

Consequently

Linking Words

, It harms both the health and our social

charachter

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character

. In conclusion, it seems that watching

televisioncan

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television can

television

affect both mentally and physically.

Eventhough

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Even though

it has a lot of drawbacks, it helps us to gain knowledge on the current affairs.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I recommend

spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quality

time

Use synonyms

with friends and relatives

instead

Linking Words

of using that

time

Use synonyms

on TVs.

Submitted by Ashith on Fri Mar 12 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Some countries have implemented a four-day workweek to improve work-life balance. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?