Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people

Television was one of the greatest

invention

Change to a plural noun

inventions

show examples

20th

Correct article usage

the 20th

show examples

century.

However

, there is a serious

dicussion

Correct your spelling

discussion

going on whether televisions are needed due to

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

bad influence

Change preposition

show examples

individual lives. In my opinion, I agree with the statement. Most of the people have televisions at their houses. It has become a part of their entertainment

time

. With the advancement in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology and OTT platforms, televisions have become unavoidable from

Correct your spelling

everyone's

everyones

Change to a genitive case

everyone's

show examples

life and made them stop going outside to

theaters

Change the spelling

theatres

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

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since they could enjoy from their home itself which makes the less sociable and communicative with outsiders.

Moreover

, The size and

the

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apply

show examples

clarity has

also

changed which makes them watch it without any boredom.

For instance

, companies like Sony and

samsung

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Samsung

show examples

manufactures high definition screens

with

Verify preposition usage

show examples

low prices and additional offers.

This

could be a reason why

peoplehave

Correct your spelling

people have

become irresponsible and spend their

time

with no meaning.

However

, there are other reasons too.

Additionally

, with the arrival of new news channels, many elderly people spend so many hours watching the daily updates. As there are no other leisure activities for them, it makes them watch current affairs without any breaks.

For example

, at my house, my

grand father

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grandfather

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watches around 5 to 6 hours daily

infront

Correct your spelling

in front

of the television, which

also

is very dangerous to their eyesight as most of them

loses

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lose

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their vision because of stressing their eyesight.

Consequently

, It harms both the health and our social

charachter

Correct your spelling

character

. In conclusion, it seems that watching

televisioncan

Correct your spelling

television can

television

affect both mentally and physically.

Eventhough

Correct your spelling

Even though

it has a lot of drawbacks, it helps us to gain knowledge on the current affairs.

Therefore

, I recommend

spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quality

time

with friends and relatives

instead

of using that

time

on TVs.

Submitted by Ashith on Fri Mar 12 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some experts believe that it is better for children to begin leaning a foregin language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away society”, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To want degree do you agree with that opinion?