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Writing Samples
Band 5

The scientist believes that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is positive while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion

#scientist #computers #beings #people #development #points
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Researchers are tempted to believe that
computers
 will outsmart
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human intellectual capability in the near future.
Although
, some people suggest that
this
 could have
catastrophic
Correct article usage
a catastrophic
show examples
 outcome
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 personally think that the
development's
Change the noun form
developments
development
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 will only help mankind to do better.
To begin
 with, the evolution of
computers
 have
benefit
Change the verb form
benefited
show examples
 many industries lately. Computer operated
nano robots
Correct your spelling
nanorobots
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 have helped to conduct delicate brain surgeries and tissue development's which would have wasted hours of valuable time of doctors.
Secondly
,
computers
 have revolutionized the
air line
Correct your spelling
airline
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 industry by helping pilots to solve complex calculations and saving many lives by avoiding accidents.
In addition
 to
this
, the Covid-19 pandemic which shock the world would not have seen light at the end of the tunnel if not for
computers
 when it comes to finding a vaccine.
Finally
, it is evident that these improvements have benefitted mankind enormously.
On the other hand
, artificial intelligence
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 isolated
the
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apply
show examples
human intervention in some avenues. The
deffence
Correct your spelling
defence
 industry
have
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has
show examples
 seen breathtaking, but worrying features
such
 as
self operated
Add a hyphen
self-operated
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 drones which will go to
its
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their
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 target and blast by
it self
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itself
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 without considering the
collotarel
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collateral
 damage.
Furthemore
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Furthermore
,
this
 has
pave
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paved
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 the way for biomechanical warfare, which can produce weapons of mass destruction
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 can impact the world. On the whole, these implications can be resolved and ratified by the arbitration of global organizations
such
 as
Uniter
Correct article usage
the Uniter
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 nations. In conclusion,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 some people believe that the sci-fi myth of a doomsday can be a reality, the
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
 day technological advancements of
computers
 will continue to benefit
the
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apply
show examples
mankind in all areas to have a better life in the future.
Submitted by suhithakarunanayake on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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