IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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Appearance
Use synonyms
 is important in the firms, the majority think that the workers suppose to
dress
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 smartly.
However
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, I think the results of the
work
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 is more necessary for the workforce
instead
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 of the quality of their
dress
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. I will discuss
this
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 opinion in
this
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 article.
Firstly
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, dressing smartly may make some specialists spend more
time
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 on clothes during the
work
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 rather than focusing on the contents of
work
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,
this
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 may waste their
time
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 to create less valuable products.
For example
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, computer science students have a more logical mind comparing with art students. Specifically, they usually prefer to wear suitable clothes like T-shirts
instead
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 of wearing suits in daily life.
Also
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, they usually sit in front of computers to solve the programme apps or software problems and barely talk with other co-workers because they need to concentrate on their code. As the result, dressing up will occupy their
time
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 somewhat, to lead that they would spend less
time
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 on the professional area, due to they have to think about their
appearance
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 for the
work
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.
Secondly
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, valuing the quality of
work
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 is definitely more vital than the
dress
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 requirements and it contains different skills and knowledge. Specifically, good
work
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 results involve multiple aspects to measure the qualities ,not just
appearance
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.
For instance
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, communication is one of the useful aspects for the employees, they may need to cooperate with other people to
work
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 together,
also
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, the good qualities of
work
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 could bring the better efforts of income, which is the key to make the company could survive and grow in the cruel markets. To conclude, good
appearance
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 definitely would enhance employees or workforce's mood in
work
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,
however
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, there are many other perspectives could affect the
work
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 value,
as a result
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, the firms suppose to consider more in order to survive and expend better in
this
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 competing market by results
instead
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 of the
dress
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by oceanplus on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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