Some people say young people should be completely free to choose their future jobs but others think young people must be more realistic in their choice. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

#people #future #jobs #choice

It is believed by some that the youth should be given the freedom of

choice

to choose their career path.

However

, others disagree and claim that it is imperative to

persue

Correct your spelling

pursue

peruse

a realistic path when deciding on an occupation.

To begin

with, having

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to choose his or her own professional career would facilitate

myraid

Correct your spelling

myriad

of benefits.

First

and foremost, the youngsters could have a

self evaluation

Add a hyphen

self-evaluation

show examples

about their strengths and

weeknesses

Correct your spelling

weaknesses

while pursuing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

employment that they are passionate to fulfil their own

self esteem

Add a hyphen

self-esteem

show examples

For example

, one might want to become a

make up

Join the words

makeup

show examples

artist , a

job

which might not be highly regarded in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Asian society.

However

Change preposition

apply

show examples

following something that any individual is fond of might drive them to

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

higher

self satisfaction

Add a hyphen

self-satisfaction

show examples

Secondly

, if they pursue someone elses' dream, there is a higher probability of getting stagnated at some stage in life.

This

might even lead to health issues

such

as stress and depression.

Therefore

, the ability to get employed in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

occupation of

choice

is pivotal. The alternative view is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

younger

Add an article

the younger

show examples

generation is expected to be realistic about their own

choice

This

may be due to

serveral

Correct your spelling

several

factors.

Firstly

they might be required to consult adults as they already poses some experience

about

Verify preposition usage

with

show examples

demand and supply in the

job

market.

For example

, a person's

job

attraction might not provide a reasonable demand or income in the business environment.

Secondly

, some countries might not have

job

opportunities as desired by the youth.

For instance

, Occupations in Micro Biology and Artificial Intelligence are limited in countries

such

as Sri Lanka.

Hence

, proper research is required when searching for

Remove the article

apply

show examples

employment. In my opinion, I strongly believe that one should get involved in a profession they aspire and have passion for.

However

, proper guidance is required from a competent and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

experienced adult to make a successful decision. In conclusion, the

choice

Remove the article

apply

show examples

employment

Replace the word

employee

show examples

is an individual decision.

However

, it has to be taken with realistic measures with

guidance

Add an article

the guidance

show examples

of an experienced adult in the business industry.

Submitted by suhithakarunanayake on Sun Mar 14 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

343 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say young people should be completely free to choose their future jobs but others think young people must be more realistic in their choice. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the use of mobiles (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as in libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many cities have installed cameras in public places in order to reduce crime. However, some people think that those cameras restrict our privacy. Do you think the advantages of this system outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that old buildings should be replaced with more modern ones. Other people argue that we should protect old buildings because they have special value. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?