IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Do you think it is better for students to work before their university study? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

#students #work #university #study #support #choice
Some recent graduates from high school decide to work before entering university, as it gives them the chance to gain a sense of responsibility and helps them with their expenses when undertaking their tertiary studies. The following essay will elucidate on those reasons with examples. Taking the
next
 step when finishing secondary studies is a moment of great responsibility to build a path of success for any student. For some, deciding to work in a related field in which they are going to follow in their
further
 academic studies has provided them
the
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with the
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 opportunity to gain
matury
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maturity
mature
 and become highly responsible, traits that become really crucial for succeeding in their new Alma Mater. To shed more light with an example, a study carried out by the
university
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University
show examples
 of Toronto in 2018 revealed that students who have previous job experience have an 85%
of
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or
show examples
greater
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the greater
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 likelihood for meeting deadlines to present projects and assignments
,
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apply
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 when compared with peers that did not have any past
work related
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work-related
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 experience.
This
 clearly shows the important impact
on
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of
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 taking a conscious decision on spending at least a year to be employed in a company.
On the other hand
, apart
of
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from
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 the importance of gaining skills on personal accountability, working for recent school alumni becomes a way to support
financialy
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financially
 in their future academic
endeavors
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endeavours
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 helping to not only pay their tuition fees
,
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apply
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 but to count
with
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on
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 resources
such
 as buying a laptop with the required
softwares
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software
 that allow them to be competitive and achieve their academic goals.
For
instance
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,instance
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 my brother who
traveled
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travelled
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 abroad to do study architecture had worked a couple of years back in the country to save money and support himself during
their
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apply
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that time.
Therefore
, the monetary savings were of great help as the school fees were high and a lot of material was required to complete his tasks. All in all, considering
to get
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getting
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 an employment opportunity is of great help for any person that would like to obtain some additional skills and have the material resources needed in their higher academic undertakings.
Submitted by osw79924 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preparation
  • mature
  • responsibility
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • self-discipline
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • career exploration
  • financial independence
  • work ethic
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