Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #resources #attention #protection #animals #birds

Nowadays some people argued that we are spending too much time and resources on protecting the

habitats

of wildlife. I strongly disagree with the view and the two main reasons will be illustrated in the following paragraphs.

First

of all, we have the responsibility to help wild species to rebuild their homes because human activities are the major factor in the destruction of wildlife

habitats

Otherwise

, some endangered

animals

will lose their home and their life.

For example

, as we are producing a large amount of marine debris by using plastics

such

as plastic bags, all species of sea turtle are suffering by eating them, which causes blockage in their intestines. The earth

is not only belong

Change the verb form

does not only belong

show examples

to human-beings and so all

animals

have

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

to live

Change preposition

show examples

the planet.

Thus

, we must devote much time and money to conserve the homes of wild

animals

Secondly

, it is no doubt we spend much time and money on protecting wild species, but

this

is not

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

of recourses.

Conversely

, we are on the right track if more and more people pay attention to

this

sever issue.

This

is because it demonstrates human still kept humanity and morality.

Moreover

, the resources we are applying is not only protecting wildlife

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

saving our own home. If we don’t take any actions, now we are destroying

animal’s

Add an article

an animal’s

the animal’s

show examples

living environment but in the near future, there is no suitable place for us

o live

Correct your spelling

olive

show examples

. At that point, will you still think we put too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

efforts

Change preposition

into

show examples

preserving

animals

’

habitats

Therefore

, we should work harder to protect wild

animals

and birds. To conclude, we should continue to contribute more to save

animals

’ land because we are the one destroyed their

habitats

and we need to take the responsibility to rebuild their homes.

Besides

this

is not wasting resources.

Submitted by mipili618 on Mon Mar 15 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays university education is considered very important for people's future. However, there are a lot of successful people who didn't get higher education. Do you think that higher education is necessary to succeed in life?

Some people think that importing movies and TV programmes from other countries is better for country . Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Do you agree or disagree?

To what extent do you agree that the men and women should do the same job as each other.

As transportation and housing problems increase in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

Write a letter to a city planning manager about demolition of a historical building in your area and say – Explain why it shouldn’t be demolished. – Suggest a future use for this building. – Recommend a way to raise money for repairs.