IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others,however, believe there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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Increasing
crime
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 is a global issue and every country is finding ways to fight it. There are those who believe that longer
prison
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 sentences can help the
Government
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 to reduce criminal activities in the country while others find that the state can choose better alternatives to control
crime
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both arguments before forming an opinion.
To begin
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 with, the majority of people believe that giving longer
prison
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 sentences can help to reduce
crime
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 in society. When offenders are given longer
prison
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 it will create fear. A Person will not execute criminal activity if he/she is already aware of the punishment.For ,example
lifetime
Correct article usage
a lifetime
show examples
prison
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 sentence for rape and murder can frighten the public and help to control criminal activities.
However
Linking Words
, others opine that there are numerous alternatives that the
government
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 can Adopt to reduce
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crime
Add an article
the crime
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 rate. The main causes of increasing offences are illiteracy and Unemployment. The
government
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 should make plans to provide free education and generate more employment opportunities. To Exemplify, in Sweden education is free and the
government
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 is continuously working to increase employment.
This
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 is the reason, why Sweden tops the list of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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peaceful country where the
crime
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 rate is the lowest.when the pupils are busy in education and work they will remain away from
crime
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. To summarise, there is clear ground both for and against long imprisonment. In my opinion,
Crime
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 should be removed from society, not criminals. The
government
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 should literate individuals and engage them in different employments to keep them away from
crime
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. So that society can become a safer place to live.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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