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Band 7.5

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym or sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing.

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Recently, there is an argument about the subsidized membership of gym or sports clubs from the companies in order to improve the standard of lifestyles for their staffs. Meanwhile, others have been seeing
this
 opportunity as a non-profit. So, the purpose of
this
 essay is to justify one of
this
 opinion is either reasonable.
To begin
 with, unhealthy products like snacks and sodas has been contributing a crucial role in harming people's habit of dining.
Hence
, many employers are introducing their employees a chance to practice a better quality of daily life routine.
As a result
,
this
 action has encouraged quite a number of clerks to change their mind-set on their groove and begin to exercise regularly.
Moreover
, the athletic and gym union outside are much more expensive in price
thus
 it would be affordable for labourers to receive help from their company. In returns,
this
 methodology has successfully motivated their staff to train a pattern of working out frequently.
Nonetheless
, there are few groups of people who are against the idea of sponsoring a sum of the fund for healthy activities.
Although
 working time has limit
however
 these people prefer to have a high rivalry on their job on the account of potential proving to give the best outcomes for a company as well as concentrate on their task to upgrade their labouring ability.
Hence
,
this
 results in better profits and performance in term of handling. By giving their endeavour too much on work, their health can result in a negative gradient
consequently
 the flow of working can be influenced since there will be more labourers are prone to apply for sickbay. To conclude, even though each aspect of thinking has shown their good intention on their business but the suggestion of offering staffs to have an affordable price to convince them to exercise is indeed reasonable
Submitted by thien on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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