Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is claimed that

music

is a global language and its advancement throughout

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

few decades has made it surpass the original territorial boundaries. A common opinion is that it is one of the best ways to unite

people

worldwide irrespective of their age and cultural beliefs. I do agree with

this

statement to a great extent. There are several reasons to support

this

view.

First

wide

Correct article usage

the wide

show examples

availability of international

music

, which is considered a combination of several

music

traditions, makes the world seem more uniform than ever.

Such

music

, which does not belong to any specific culture, can entertain everyone as the composition is quite different

Verify preposition usage

from

show examples

what

people

have experienced already. Meanwhile,

this

phenomenon will stop us

overrating

Change preposition

from overrating

show examples

our own

music

genres as the worlds’ best; rather, it will certainly strengthen our perception of belonging to a global community.

Secondly

, the peoples’ minds can be motivated to explore, value and respect other different cultures and societies by listening to different kinds of

music

For instance

, anyone who is highly interested in North Indian Hindusthani

music

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will be inspired to discover how it is bound with the everyday life of Indians.

Furthermore

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

claim that

music

usually evokes past memories, which help them enter their childhood or youth in minds that will ease the interactions between various age groups.

Change preposition

show examples

the contrary, there are drawbacks

Change preposition

show examples

this

concept as well. It is a fact that the traditional

music

of a particular country is strongly bound with its ideology and cultural beliefs, as an inevitable part of its heritage, which should be preserved. The over presence and overrate of varying genres of

music

can lead to underestimation and negligence of traditional

music

;

consequently

, traditional values. I am certain that within the

century the whole world will have become a global village and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of self-identity and uniqueness will hardly benefit any nation, in that context. To sum up,

Music

has been changing and improving since the origin of humankind and

this

pleasurable experience is a great way to harmonize the

people

regardless of age and cultural backgrounds, if it is used in the appropriate manner.

Submitted by gayamadu8181 on Mon Mar 15 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

359 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is argued that life has become more convenient because of the internet, and it has created many problems. This essay disagrees with the statement that the internet creates many problems despite having numerous advantages. Firstly, services are available at the tip of our hands just because of the internet; secondly, the world has become smaller, and our loved ones are connected socially and emotionally.
5.5
band
Government Intervention in the Economy: Some people believe that governments should regulate the economy, while others argue that the economy should be allowed to regulate itself. Discuss both views and give your opinion in 250 words.
Some people think that the state should control the economy while others believe that the
6.5
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, in most nations there are a higher population of young people in comparison with the elderly. While there are some drawbacks associated with having with young population, I believe the main benefits are more substantial.
4.5
band
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While plastics from packaging was accused for its negative impact on destroying the environemnt, it is widely debated whether the manufacturers and supermarkets should be responsible for reducing the amount of packaging of goods or not, others argue that the clients themselves need to avoid buying products with overpackaging instead. Both point of views and reason why I agree with the former statement will be further discussed in this essay.
5
band
In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?
Nowadays, it is required for workers to be able to communicate properly and have teamwork skills in every occupassion. However, some are unskilled because they were raised in small immidiate families and the education system was unable to teach them. This might lead them to be unsuccessful in their careers and even to get severe mental disorders.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Government Intervention in the Economy: Some people believe that governments should regulate the economy, while others argue that the economy should be allowed to regulate itself. Discuss both views and give your opinion in 250 words.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?