IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#government’s #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services
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Recently, spending
money
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 on
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arts
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the arts
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 has become a controversial issue. It is often argued that the government should support public service financially
instead
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 of investing
money
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
arts
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,
music
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 and theatre.
Although
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 I agree that the government’s investments in public
services
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 play a critical role, I believe that proper funding of the
arts
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 sector is
also
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 crucial for society. On the one hand, the government should allocate a large part of its financial budget
on
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to
show examples
 public
services
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. These
services
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 determine
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society’s quality of life. Individuals can live,
for example
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, without
arts
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 or
music
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 but cannot survive with the lack of medical and educational
services
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 or with poor infrastructure. These sectors should be available equally for all citizens regardless of their income or social status because they satisfy the primary needs of the society and
thus
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 need proper funding. Governments,
therefore
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, should adequately finance public
services
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 in the
first
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 place.
On the other hand
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,
arts
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,
music
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, and theatre are not a waste of
money
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, since they are an integral part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society’s
cutlural
Correct your spelling
cultural
 and intellectual development. These sectors are the mirrors of the community and its problems. A play or a musical concert,
for instance
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, can change the local or international attitude towards a domestic issue
such
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 as family fragmentation. Since people identify easily with performed
arts
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, they are eager to accept indirect or direct advice from performers.
Moreover
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,
painting
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the painting
a painting
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 could reveal the accurate image of a certain community leading to the end of political conflicts and
achievement
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the achievement
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 of peace.
Hence
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, the art sector is pivotal
for
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to
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 the development of communities culturally and socially. To conclude, in my opinion, while the government should invest much
money
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 in developing its infrastructure and public
services
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, it should allocate adequate funds to support
arts
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,
music
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 and theatre since they play an essential role in people’s social and cultural development. If governments succeed in achieving
this
Linking Words
 financial balance, their communities will be socially, medically and politically secure.
Submitted by raniafarag999 on

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