Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

Some
people
think that we can only be happy if we have an occupation we desire, while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others believe that other
factors
are far more vital. From my perspective , I do believe that a variety of other equally vital
factors
all contribute to
this
desirable aim. It is true that getting a desirable
job
is the key to happiness. It’s absolutely right that it meets our
job
satisfaction based on working performances. No matter how the salary, we still can get it raised even getting promoted when we devote ourselves to doing jobs that we have a passion for.
For example
, with interest and patience, a nurse would have
motivation
Change the article
the motivation
show examples
to do their occupation on a daily basis.
However
, I must argue that contentment in the workplace could
also
be achieved through a range of other
factors
including finance and self-development.
Firstly
, if a worker couldn’t earn enough to meet his fundamental needs
such
as paying bills, food or putting his kids to school, it is absolutely absurd to continue his enjoyable low-paid
job
, especially in a time of economic crisis. My brother,
for instance
, who used to work as a tour guide, decided to surrender his dream work due to low levels of monthly income.
Finally
, another factor influencing happiness is having supportive and loving
people
in one’s life. While a fascinating
job
may bring
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
opportunities to enjoy pleasures, few
people
would enjoy them on their own.
In other words
, a good relationship is one of the sources of happiness. If we just focus on
desiable
Correct your spelling
desirable
jobs and neglect our family for a while, we can not turn a house into a home.
As a result
, we are likely to be unhappy. In conclusion, I agree that enjoyable jobs may give
people
pleasures.
Nevertheless
,
this
is not completely true as each
job
has its own drawbacks and benefits. For most
people
, other
factors
are much more significant.
Submitted by Nina Emily on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: