Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

#people #job #love #factors

Some

people

think that we can only be happy if we have an occupation we desire, while

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others believe that other

factors

are far more vital. From my perspective , I do believe that a variety of other equally vital

factors

all contribute to

this

desirable aim. It is true that getting a desirable

job

is the key to happiness. It’s absolutely right that it meets our

job

satisfaction based on working performances. No matter how the salary, we still can get it raised even getting promoted when we devote ourselves to doing jobs that we have a passion for.

For example

, with interest and patience, a nurse would have

motivation

Change the article

the motivation

show examples

to do their occupation on a daily basis.

However

, I must argue that contentment in the workplace could

also

be achieved through a range of other

factors

including finance and self-development.

Firstly

, if a worker couldn’t earn enough to meet his fundamental needs

such

as paying bills, food or putting his kids to school, it is absolutely absurd to continue his enjoyable low-paid

job

, especially in a time of economic crisis. My brother,

for instance

, who used to work as a tour guide, decided to surrender his dream work due to low levels of monthly income.

Finally

, another factor influencing happiness is having supportive and loving

people

in one’s life. While a fascinating

job

may bring

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

opportunities to enjoy pleasures, few

people

would enjoy them on their own.

In other words

, a good relationship is one of the sources of happiness. If we just focus on

desiable

Correct your spelling

desirable

jobs and neglect our family for a while, we can not turn a house into a home.

As a result

, we are likely to be unhappy. In conclusion, I agree that enjoyable jobs may give

people

pleasures.

Nevertheless

this

is not completely true as each

job

has its own drawbacks and benefits. For most

people

, other

factors

are much more significant.

Submitted by Nina Emily on Wed Mar 17 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most people take interviews to select a person for a job. What are the other ways? What do you think is the best way to recruit new employees?

Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many people today are worried about young children using video games. What problems might these games cause for children and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced?

Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Other say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both these views and give your opinion.