Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #time

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about economic success. Some even debate on the pros and cons of long working

hours

. I. strongly disagree with the idea that extending working

hours

will accelerate the nation`s economy.

Firstly

, the achievements of the economy are based on multiple factors

such

as recourses, technology development, industrial foundations, etc.

For instance

countries

like Bangladesh is one of the longest working

hours

per

capital

Correct your spelling

capita

show examples

in the world yet still struggled with poverty Germany,

on the other hand

it`s

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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outstanding performance of machinery created a postindustrial environment thereby lower the working hour per capital. Germany is one of the strongest

countries

with exceeded GPD figures in the world.

Furthermore

, the working

hours

at present are way less compared with the same 150 years ago. Our

society

surly

Correct your spelling

surely

show examples

wealthier than 150 years ago.

Secondly

, longer working

hours

reflects to lower the value of

labour

Correct article usage

the labour

show examples

force.

This

means that individual needs to work longer

hence

to earn the same amount of income. It might lead to an unbalanced lifestyle, depression, stresses related disease or other unexpected chain reactions.

For example

, many are arguing about the low birth rate in many

countries

. If women need to devote themselves to their career in order to maintain the same income level as before.

Then

there will be no time left on for having a baby or taking care of families.

This

is a vicious circle

that

Change preposition

in that

show examples

society

might face a labour shortage in the future. In sum. Long working

hours

might not precede an economy boost which will increase the burden on the whole

society

in contrast

Instead

of expressing ideas like delay retirement or extended working

hours

, it`s better for the government to take any action to strengthen

countries

industrial foundation. By doing so we can make sure that our

society

remains healthy and developed.

Submitted by Sue on Wed Mar 17 2021

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic success
working hours
productivity
sustainable development
work-life balance
labor laws
efficiency
gross domestic product (GDP)
burnout
occupational health
technological innovation
industrialized nations
emerging economies
workforce
competitiveness
workplace culture
employee turnover
quality of life

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Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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