Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about economic success. Some even debate on the pros and cons of long working
hours
. I. strongly disagree with the idea that extending working
hours
will accelerate the nation`s economy.
Firstly
, the achievements of the economy are based on multiple factors
such
as recourses, technology development, industrial foundations, etc.
For instance
,
countries
like Bangladesh is one of the longest working
hours
per
capital
Correct your spelling
capita
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in the world yet still struggled with poverty Germany,
on the other hand
,
it`s
Correct pronoun usage
`s
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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outstanding performance of machinery created a postindustrial environment thereby lower the working hour per capital. Germany is one of the strongest
countries
with exceeded GPD figures in the world.
Furthermore
, the working
hours
at present are way less compared with the same 150 years ago. Our
society
is
surly
Correct your spelling
surely
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wealthier than 150 years ago.
Secondly
, longer working
hours
reflects to lower the value of
labour
Correct article usage
the labour
show examples
force.
This
means that individual needs to work longer
hence
to earn the same amount of income. It might lead to an unbalanced lifestyle, depression, stresses related disease or other unexpected chain reactions.
For example
, many are arguing about the low birth rate in many
countries
. If women need to devote themselves to their career in order to maintain the same income level as before.
Then
there will be no time left on for having a baby or taking care of families.
This
is a vicious circle
that
Change preposition
in that
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society
might face a labour shortage in the future. In sum. Long working
hours
might not precede an economy boost which will increase the burden on the whole
society
in contrast
.
Instead
of expressing ideas like delay retirement or extended working
hours
, it`s better for the government to take any action to strengthen
countries
industrial foundation. By doing so we can make sure that our
society
remains healthy and developed.
Submitted by Sue on

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • sustainable development
  • work-life balance
  • labor laws
  • efficiency
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • burnout
  • occupational health
  • technological innovation
  • industrialized nations
  • emerging economies
  • workforce
  • competitiveness
  • workplace culture
  • employee turnover
  • quality of life
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