More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowle

In rich
nations
more and more
children
are becoming obese due to the kind of
life
syle
Correct your spelling
style
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
are leading.
This
is mainly because of
sedentary
Add an article
the sedentary
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle and the consumption of unhealthy foods.
This
essay will explore these causes in detail below giving the negative results they bring.
To begin
with, in
this
modern time a lot of
children
spend their time indoors playing games on their
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or watching television.
For example
, these young
children
are doing online school and after
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
they will just
countinue
Correct your spelling
continue
to use their gadgets to play games.
Therefore
they do not have time to exercise by moving around or playing outside which will result in them
bieng
Correct your spelling
being
overweight.
Furthermore
,eating junk foods on a daily basis because it is readily available and affordable in wealthy
nations
,
further
worsens the problem.
This
is because these foods have a lot of calories which are not good for consumption. A number of
children
fall victims
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
unhealthy
liiving
Correct your spelling
living
result in them being obese. Following the above discussion,
obsesity
Correct your spelling
obesity
in young individuals will mainly lead to
boring
Add an article
a boring
show examples
life
.
In other words
, they will fail to enjoy
life
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
other
children
, as they will be inactive . A lot of
children
who face bullying in developed
nations
are overweight , they will
also
feel neglected and fail to mingle with their peers.
As a result
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
is compromised which does not only affect their childhood but adult
life
as well. Effects of
obestity
Correct your spelling
obesity
are so detrimental to individuals day to day living. To conclude, young people in wealthy
nations
fell prey to unhealthy lifestyle naturally which will cause them to live an
unpleasanty
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
unpleasantly
childhood. Adults had a role of monitoring their
Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
way of living so that they will adhere to healthy ways of
life
.
Submitted by maereseratariro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: