IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In cities, space for housing should be created by knocking down historic buildings. What is your opinion?

#cities #space #buildings
As cities are becoming increasingly crowded, many people suggest government demolish historical
buildings
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
downtown in order to make space for residential construction. In my opinion,
this
 is rather an insensitive and irresponsible proposal because it ignores the precious values lied within these
buildings
. To start with, historical
buildings
 carry
heritage
Correct article usage
the heritage
show examples
 and legacy of one culture. We can learn tremendously from these
buildings
 not only about our traditions but
also
 about the lifestyle of our ancestors. By doing so, we acquire precious knowledge and may be inspired to make innovations in multiple areas,
such
 as architecture and arts. For
this
 reason, I consider that destroying these
buildings
 is
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
unacceptable damage to our cultures.
Moreover
, ancient architects have great economical values.
This
 is because most of the historical sites can be developed to become tourist attractions and contribute to
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 economy.
For instance
, the Forbidden City in China, which draws millions of visitors every year to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Beijing city. Thanks to
this
 development, many new jobs are created in the service sector and local income is increased. Thereby, both the government and
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 community will be benefited
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 these attractions. Admittedly, building residential housing is essential to maintain a harmonious society. But the government has many other alternatives
instead
 of simply tearing down historical sites. I strongly disagree with
this
 proposal because it does not respect our culture and diminish an opportunity to develop
local
Add an article
the local
a local
show examples
 economy from tourism.
Submitted by henggu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • contentious
  • pragmatic
  • repurposing
  • feasible
  • tangible
  • adaptive reuse
  • cultural heritage
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable
  • stakeholder engagement
  • urban development
  • preserving
What to do next:
Look at other essays: