IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people are choosing to move to cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #move #cities #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more and more
people
 tend to leave their hometown to pursue a modern and magnificent life in big
cities
. The phenomenon causes us to gain several merits and demerits
also
.
This
 essay will give a clear discussion about the reason why
this
 figure happens and whether the advantages of it can outweigh the backward.
To begin
 with, there are a lot of explanations for the trend that rural
people
 move to
cities
.
First
 of all, they have a desire to change and improve both their standard and cost of living. Since big
cities
 are where a wide range of occupations can be found, most of the population from all parts of the countries come there to make ends meet.
Moreover
, some families migrate to the
city
 to give their children a better chance to approach
such
 a high-qualified education. To illustrate, it can be seen in some recent surveys that
people
 who move to town have their life ameliorated a lot in comparison with the
last
 few years. The researchers concern if country folk continued to settle in
cities
 in
such
 a great number like
this
,
city
 dwellers would have to face up with a range of new problems and disadvantages.
Although
 these migrants may play an essential role in the development of urbanization in the
city
, they bring us much more serious issues than ever.
Firstly
, the more citizens live in a
city
, the more traffic jam will occur with a long line of cars and motorbikes. The increase in the number of vehicles results in more fumes and kinds of pollution
such
 as air pollution and noise pollution. What is more, not every rural
people
 can find a permanent job in a large
city
, so there will be more unemployed
people
. Lack of money and employment leads them to do illegal things to fight for lives. It means the rates of crimes are going to rise considerably in the
next
 couple of years. To conclude, we can see that more
people
 choose to move to
cities
 may pose more drawbacks than benefits.
Submitted by cute110101 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: