Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Opinions diverge regarding the negative effects of
violence
in mass
media
and video games on public welfare and safety.
While
it is apparent that these mediums can have harmful influences on aggressive behaviour, I contend that there are other factors at play in
this
issue. There is no denying that people are exposed to a lot of
violence
in entertainment.
This
exposure might lead individuals to consider
such
actions normal and potentially become desensitized to the extent of disconnecting from reality, even resorting to real-life
violence
.
For example
, in Vietnam, a teenage male addicted to a shooting game assaulted his grandmother, imitating the in-game character.
Moreover
, excessive exposure to violent content can hinder a child's emotional and psychological development, affecting their ability to empathize or understand the consequences of their actions.
However
, other factors should be considered regarding the increase in aggressive behaviour.
Firstly
, violent
media
may not be the sole cause but rather one of several contributing factors
along with
environment, personal experiences, and mental health issues. Research indicates that mentally unstable individuals or those who grew up in areas with high crime rates are more likely to commit violent actions.
Secondly
,
instead
of reducing violent
media
, more stringent regulations can be enacted. Clearly,
this
content is intended for adults who can distinguish between fiction and reality. Efforts should focus on preventing
violence
from reaching immature audiences.
Finally
, addressing
this
issue by mitigating real-life
violence
would be more prudent. Movies and video games largely depict societal norms, including
violence
, and are not the primary cause of
such
behaviour. In terms of preserving public safety and well-being, society should prioritize improving education and deterring crimes. In conclusion, I believe that society should prioritize educating people and preventing aggressive acts rather than solely condemning the
media
and video games.
Submitted by anhpham.712688 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and introduce seamless transitions between them to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Keep sentences concise and avoid redundancy to improve clarity of the ideas expressed.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the case in Vietnam, to support your arguments effectively.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • aggressive behavior
  • emotional and psychological development
  • impair
  • empathy
  • contributing factor
  • distinction
  • fiction and reality
  • mature audiences
  • reflective
  • prevalence
  • societal issues
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