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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays children has become more addicted to TV and because of that their physical activity level is decreasing. what can be cause and possible solution to that ?

#children #tv #activity #level
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Screen addiction is a growing problem now.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon leads to
sedentary
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a sedentary
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Use synonyms
life style
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lifestyle
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 and resulted in many health and social problems. Many
children
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 are addicted to television due to
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of reasons.
This
Linking Words
essy
Correct your spelling
essay
 will discuss some of the causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 problems and it's solutions. There are many reasons for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
television
dependecy
Correct your spelling
dependency
.
Children
Use synonyms
 spend much of their time
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of
TV
Correct article usage
the TV
show examples
 to relive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic
stress
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. Nowadays parents are too busy
therefore
Linking Words
,
children
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 rarely find time to open their mind and talk and laugh with their parents and family even after coming from school. Many research shows that lack of good quality human
ineteraction
Correct your spelling
interaction
 leads to depression and anxiety and later social isolation in
young
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the young
a young
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 age group. Nowadays
this
Linking Words
 is true and we all are
witnessing
Correct pronoun usage
itwitnessing
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. To take the
children
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 out
from
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of
show examples
 screen addiction, society and
government
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the government
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has
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have
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 some roles to play .
Linking Words
First
Correct article usage
The first
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 and foremost important thing is reducing academic
stress
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.
children
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 should be allowed
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
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few
Add an article
a few
show examples
 hours of
break
Add an article
a break
the break
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 for recreational activity in the school. Their schooling hours
shold
Correct your spelling
should
 be limited to
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
six
Change preposition
of six
show examples
 hours per day with two days
weeked
Correct your spelling
weekend
week
 off.
In addition
Linking Words
,
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 classes should be banned completely. Public and
coorporate
Correct your spelling
corporate
 sectors should focus on diving some free time or work off of to their employees who are
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happen
 to be parents of young
children
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.
Government
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The government
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also
Linking Words
 should promote active and healthy
Use synonyms
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
 through mass media and school
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
curricula
. Nowadays, it is true that television addiction is a
challeging
Correct your spelling
challenging
 problem
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 has resulted due to academic
stress
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 and busy
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life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
 its a growing problem we have some solutions like relieving
stress
Use synonyms
 and anxiety and promoting healthy
Use synonyms
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
.
Submitted by ars on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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