IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #action #crime
Some are on the view that precautions taken to reduce
crime
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not sufficient, while others think the dilemma is been controlled effectively. I strongly believe that more sturn actions must be taken to eradicate
crime
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Increasing cases of
crime
 around the
world
 have crippled many societies around the
world
.
To begin
 with, more countries are facing threats from organized gang groups to
distrupt
Correct your spelling
disrupt
 the daily livelihood of the
people
. As an example, Mexico which is one of the places where gang violence is spreading without any control is considered to be the safest place
to
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
people
 who are convicted
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
 to find asylum.
In addition
 to
this
,
people
 must pay a percentage
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their daily income to make sure that they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 get murdered by
such
people
.
Finally
, country's and
world
 organizations should ratify global platforms to make sure that the proper funding and intelligence is shared to prevent the surge of
this
 social
mennace
Correct your spelling
menace
 which is destroying many families around the
world
.
On the other hand
, countries are taking preventive measures to address
this
 issue.
Firstly
, it is evident that organizations
such
 as United Nation's have come to the forefront in starting a
dialog
Change the spelling
dialogue
show examples
 on the importance of eradicating
crime
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to make a brighter future for the
next
 generation.
Secondly
, more and countries are signing agreements when it comes to sharing actionable intelligence with the security forces so that they can take
strun
Correct your spelling
strong
stern
 actions.
last
 but not the least,
people
 are coming up strongly nowadays to complain and share information with the police when
such
 incidents occur. In conclusion,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 there are adequate actions
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are visible in the
world
 when it comes to preventing
crime
, more and more intervention from the government is needed to
controll
Correct your spelling
control
 the situation so that it will not have serious issues in the future.
Submitted by suhithakarunanayake on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: