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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that history can teach us many important values and lessons, but others think it is unnecessary to learn from the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is suggested that
history
Use synonyms
 can educate us on values and lessons even though others think
that is
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 is it is useless to learn from the past. In my opinion,I believe that
history
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 is essential for understanding past events and the preservation of culture
although
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 it could quite boring, voluminous and lacks some importance in today's world. On one hand,
history
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 has become beneficial to many
people
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.
For instance
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, many
people
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 have relied on
history
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 to provide information about past happenings,
such
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 as the world war, slave trade, the fight for women's rights but most importantly ti understand various cultures and languages that have become extinct. To illustrate
this
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would give an example, recently there has been a lot of excavation of the tombs of dead
pharaoh's
Change the noun form
pharaohs
pharaoh
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ancient Egypt.
History
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 has enabled historian and
archeologists
Change the spelling
archaeologists
show examples
understand
Fix the infinitive
to understand
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 the purposes of the burial rites performed on the mummies but most importantly get
better
Add an article
a better
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 understanding of the earliest civilisation that happened in Africa. By finding
this
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 important information, a lot of questions have been answered regarding past cultures and traditions and
also
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 understanding the markings, drawings or writings on the tombs.
On the other hand
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,
history
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 has become distorted in many ways due to certain reasons
such
Linking Words
 as; tampering of
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 to suit a personal narrative.
For example
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, slavery and how it began have been altered tremendously in various historical books to suit absurd religious narratives and
further
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 romanticise slave owners as good
people
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 acting on their better judgement.
However
Linking Words
 it may be, these books tend to be voluminous, stating falsehood and having no significant relevance or representation of today's world which in my opinion a lot of
people
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 want to forget due to the horrific circumstances that occurred in the past. In my opinion,
although
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, I believe
history
Use synonyms
 is important because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it holds sentimental value, I
also
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 agree that
,
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apply
show examples
 in many
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 the representations of
history
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such
Linking Words
 as books and manuscripts are bogus and lack proper evidence to show the actual evident without adulteration of any form. In conclusion, even though
history
Use synonyms
 is of importance because of what
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 represents, I reckon it is
also
Linking Words
 fair to state that most of
event
Add an article
the event
show examples
 recorded could be untrue because they are retold stories and we can never be certain of the intentions behind the written information.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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