Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Television
viewership has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
skyrocketed these days. The majority of the population
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
show examples
to watch
television
in their leisure time as opposed to meeting others. In my opinion, digital screens are not only causing distancing in
people
but
also
affecting mental and physical
health
. Too many problems in our society exist nowadays only because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of communication among
people
. It seems like everybody is busy
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
yet unfulfilled.
Televsion
Correct your spelling
Television
, movies, and theatre are the main
culprit
Fix the agreement mistake
culprits
show examples
as more and more human beings are just
passing
Verb problem
wasting
show examples
their time watching these rather than interacting with family members and others. A study conducted at Stanford revealed that as the subscriptions on 'Netflix' a popular streaming site increased, so
were
Verb problem
did
show examples
the
people
attending psychologists and psychiatrists. It noted the direct link between binge-watching
television
and the increased number of fights among families in the USA. It is believed that many
people
avoided
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
real-life challenges and prefer to get a dopamine hit from watching
fiction
Replace the word
fictional
show examples
movies.
In addition
to the social issues, the effects of digital screens on
health
are adverse. Human bodies are meant to be physically active by nature, and lack of physical activity not only affects physical
health
but mental
health
as well. It is proven now that a vast majority of
people
who are obese are the ones who
viewed
Wrong verb form
view
show examples
television
excessively. In fact, obesity is not the main concern but rather their depressed mental state is. The brain hormones dopamine and serotonin levels were affected badly in these patients. The reasons
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
the excessive blue light exposure to the eyes and lack of physical movement. Too much time and
health
are being wasted watching
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
show examples
. I agree that
people
are avoiding
real- life
Correct your spelling
real-life
show examples
challenges
such
as being productive, socializing, and helping others by indulging in digital screens.
Submitted by bilasaleem on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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