Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people

Television

viewership has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

skyrocketed these days. The majority of the population

prefer

Correct subject-verb agreement

prefers

show examples

to watch

television

in their leisure time as opposed to meeting others. In my opinion, digital screens are not only causing distancing in

people

but

also

affecting mental and physical

health

. Too many problems in our society exist nowadays only because of

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of communication among

people

. It seems like everybody is busy

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

yet unfulfilled.

Televsion

Correct your spelling

Television

, movies, and theatre are the main

culprit

Fix the agreement mistake

culprits

show examples

as more and more human beings are just

passing

Verb problem

wasting

show examples

their time watching these rather than interacting with family members and others. A study conducted at Stanford revealed that as the subscriptions on 'Netflix' a popular streaming site increased, so

were

Verb problem

did

show examples

the

people

attending psychologists and psychiatrists. It noted the direct link between binge-watching

television

and the increased number of fights among families in the USA. It is believed that many

people

avoided

Wrong verb form

avoid

show examples

real-life challenges and prefer to get a dopamine hit from watching

fiction

Replace the word

fictional

show examples

movies.

In addition

to the social issues, the effects of digital screens on

health

are adverse. Human bodies are meant to be physically active by nature, and lack of physical activity not only affects physical

health

but mental

health

as well. It is proven now that a vast majority of

people

who are obese are the ones who

viewed

Wrong verb form

view

show examples

television

excessively. In fact, obesity is not the main concern but rather their depressed mental state is. The brain hormones dopamine and serotonin levels were affected badly in these patients. The reasons

being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

the excessive blue light exposure to the eyes and lack of physical movement. Too much time and

health

are being wasted watching

televisions

Fix the agreement mistake

television

show examples

. I agree that

people

are avoiding

real- life

Correct your spelling

real-life

show examples

challenges

such

as being productive, socializing, and helping others by indulging in digital screens.

Submitted by bilasaleem on Sun Mar 21 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this approach outweigh its disadvantages?

You are preparing an event in the countryside. Write a letter to your friend and ask for help with the arrangements. In your letter, •describe the event •mention what arrangements have already been made •say how your friend can help

Some people think climate change has a negative impact on business, while others think that it provides more business option. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.