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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that family is more important than friends. To what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #friends
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Some people claim that the importance of
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 circle is greater than the
friends
Use synonyms
 we meet in our
life
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. I would strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the above which
mold
Change the spelling
mould
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 a proper individual to the society. The bond and the influence that a
person
Use synonyms
 gets from their own family is priceless.
Firstly
Linking Words
, from the
first
Linking Words
 day a child start walking
parents
Use synonyms
 make sure that his or her child is given the best things even at the cost of their own comfort. As an example, there are many
parents
Use synonyms
 who would stay hungry
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 their children have been fed for the sake of their love.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, once they become grown adults the advice and the guidance that they get from the
parents
Use synonyms
 and their
grand
Correct your spelling
grandparents
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parents
Use synonyms
 can be vital to have a
balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
show examples
 family
life
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.
Furthermore
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, it is evident that
when ever
Correct your spelling
whenever
show examples
 a
person
Use synonyms
 is in trouble they always run towards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the family since they trust that they will be there to hold them when they are unable to stand up on their own.
On the other hand
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,
friends
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 can play an
intergral
Correct your spelling
integral
 part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
persons
Change the noun form
person
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 as well. To being with, once a child start's to explore and going
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 school the
friends
Use synonyms
 they make will decide the values that they will incorporate
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. As an example, social research
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 proven that if a
person
Use synonyms
 makes
friends
Use synonyms
 who posses bad ethics and values the probability of the
person
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also
Linking Words
 falling to the same track is much greater.
Therefore
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,
friends
Use synonyms
 with the correct values and discipline can help a
person
Use synonyms
 to grow but will result
otherwise
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 if they are not. In conclusion, even though
friends
Use synonyms
 can be considered as an important part of
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 the impact and the
belonginess
Correct your spelling
belongingness
belongings
 the family brings is far
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
greater which cannot
be replace
Change the verb form
be replaced
show examples
 by a friend.
Submitted by suhithakarunanayake on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bond
  • support
  • unconditional love
  • shared values
  • mutual understanding
  • trust
  • emotional well-being
  • interdependence
  • societal norms
  • companionship
  • loyalty
  • advice
  • experiences
  • mentorship
  • trustworthy
  • reliable
  • reliable
  • cherish
  • strengthen
  • deepen
  • attach importance to
  • prioritize
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