IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People in major cities suffer from high levels of air pollution that causes health problems for many. Explain possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.

#people #cities #levels #air #pollution #health
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many megalopolises and big
cities
Use synonyms
 are known for their high levels of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
, causing serious illnesses and even premature deaths among city residents. Even though the sources of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 in the modern world are multiple, one of
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 –
cars
Use synonyms
 – is definitely concentrated in
cities
Use synonyms
. Despite being the favourite method of transportation for many,
cars
Use synonyms
 are responsible for a large proportion of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 in big
cities
Use synonyms
.
Cars
Use synonyms
 emit poisonous carbon dioxide as well as other harmful particles.
People
Use synonyms
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
 breathe
this
Linking Words
 polluted
air
Use synonyms
 for years, and some develop dangerous illnesses like asthma and lung cancer. In order to reduce the use of private vehicles, the government should introduce two main policies. The most obvious way to reduce
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 would be to reduce the number of
cars
Use synonyms
 on the streets. One way to limit the number of private vehicles is to improve public transport. If buses and trains were comfortable and fast, many
people
Use synonyms
 would use them
instead
Linking Words
 of driving.
For example
Linking Words
, in
London
Add a comma
,London
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 living in the centre do not own a
car
Use synonyms
 at all. Another way would be to discourage
people
Use synonyms
 from having a
car
Use synonyms
 by making it more expensive. Today many
people
Use synonyms
 can afford to get a small, old
car
Use synonyms
. But if the government imposed a higher annual tax on
car
Use synonyms
 owners, many of them would avoid buying a
car
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, huge numbers of
cars
Use synonyms
 on the streets of big
cities
Use synonyms
 seem to be the main source of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. In order to decrease
car
Use synonyms
 ownership, the government should use a combination of policies: to increase the cost of having one and to develop reliable public transport systems that city residents could use
instead
Linking Words
.
Submitted by pathakayush1708 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: