Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In many

countries

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, young men must attend compulsory military service after they finish their school. I think that

this

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system must be adopted by all

countries

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making it mandatory for

both

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men and women to join the

services

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for at least 2 years.

This

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duty will immensely benefit

both

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people and the government.

Firstly

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, we

need

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need to

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understand that cultivating hard work and discipline in someone at

their

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show examples

younger age will help them in their life. Military service demands

both

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of these attributes.

For example

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, if a person can adapt to the working routine at

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show examples

army base

such

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as early

wake up

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wake-up

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, physical exercise, limited food options, demanding work etc. Most of the kids will stick to these habits for their life. These will help them succeed in their remaining life.

Also

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, including women in these

services

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and training them as per their interests will be of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great benefit to them.

Secondly

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, all nations cannot have a standby military with a vast number of people all around the year. Especially, smaller

countries

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cannot afford to have one

due to

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the economic drawbacks. In these cases, adopting compulsory military service will greatly benefit the country. If an emergency war situation arises, all these trained people can be called for

the

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apply

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national duty. They can be posted for administrative tasks and other works to support the ongoing war efforts.

To conclude

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, all

countries

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must consider adopting these

services

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for

both

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men and women too. There are several advantages to the younger ones and to the nation. These

services

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will give them the agility to

be face

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face

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their future.

msrinivas7866Sat Aug 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider expanding your introduction by briefly summarizing the main points you will cover. This helps set clear expectations for the reader.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, mention a country that has successfully implemented compulsory military service to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. Transitional phrases can help improve coherence.

task achievement

Acknowledge possible counterarguments to strengthen your response. Discussing potential downsides and addressing them can show a more nuanced understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.

coherence cohesion

You present a logical structure, moving from the benefits for the individuals to the benefits for the nation.

task achievement

Your points about discipline and economic benefits are clear and relevant to the topic.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Compulsory
Military service
Conscription
Patriotism
National security
Social equality
Discipline
Physical fitness
Life skills
Job training
Infringement
Conscripts
Gender equality
Mandatory
Economy
Education system
Labor market
Civil service
Alternative forms
Balanced view

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Extreme sports such as sky diving and sking very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

:In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the schools promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

Disruptive school students have negative impact on their classmates. Students are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and teaching separately. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.