IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

24. In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #development
Recent years has seen a surge in
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
show examples
population
 all over the world. In many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 the older generation is outgrowing the younger generations due to the advancement in medicine. In my opinion,
this
 trend will have a negative impact rather than a positive impact on the economy.
This
 essay will examine the reasons in favour of the said viewpoint.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 currently, the world is experiencing a silver tsunami. As the aged
population
 outnumbers the younger, government bodies will have to pump in large sums of money for their care and support.
Additionally
, authorities have to spend more on pension funds, subsidies for the elderly as well as construct hospice homes.
For instance
, in
Singapore
Add a comma
,Singapore
show examples
 the majority of the
population
 constitutes of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aged people and a major portion of the government spending goes to the support for the elderly. It can lead to an imbalance in the economy as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Therefore
, increasing
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
show examples
population
 is a negative development for a nation.
Secondly
, the dwindling number of
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
 generation will adversely affect the economy. As the aged
population
 grows it leads to a shortage of
able bodied
Add a hyphen
able-bodied
show examples
 manpower needed to perform various jobs.
For example
, logistics firms
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 young
bloods
Change the wording
blood
types of blood
drops of blood
show examples
 to do deliveries, work with heavy lifting
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, driving heavy-duty vehicles etc which can prove to be quite challenging for older people. So, it is always beneficial for a country if
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large part of the
population
 are youngsters. To conclude, it is argued that the number of elderly will be more than that of the younger generation in the near future.
However
,
this
 phenomenon is a negative development as it impedes a nation's economic progression.
Submitted by binie005 on

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