SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT A SENSE OF COMPETITION IN CHILDREN SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED. OTHER BELIEVED THAT CHILDREN WHO ARE THAUGHT TO CO-OPERATE THAN COMPETE BECOME MORE USEFUL ADULTS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

#people #sense #competition #children #thaught #co-operate #adults

Nowadays, many people think that

competition

performs an important role in establishing a strong personality and good behaviour. In fact, many advocates of

this

statement, believe that

Remove the article

apply

show examples

real

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

life

is a combat

life

. Unfortunately, our world today is always a

competition

and in order to become successful, is an important key to

life

train youth to become competitive.

In contrast

, some argue that

competition

is not beneficial for the behaviour of their children. In

this

essay, I will explore and explain both views and ,

finally

Add a comma

,finally

show examples

I would state my own opinion regarding the matter. On the hand, people declare that

competition

as a peculiarity of the character is advantageous. From their own point of view, it represents an advantage because it could enhance youngster motivations to become a winner. In

this

way, they improve their personality and mentality to reach any goal in their future growth. On the

second

side of the argument, some people believe that teach

competition

from childhood could only influence negatively their behaviour and respect towards children of the same age. For

this

reason, they prefer to explain the importance of co-operating, because it allows becoming more sensitive and more emphatic in their

adult

life

Finally

, it is true that competitive and cooperative are important values in our daily

life

. But, in my opinion, teaching teenagers to co-operate is more beneficial in order to establish a mature and sensitive adult.

Submitted by lorenzomonacourro on Tue Mar 23 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT A SENSE OF COMPETITION IN CHILDREN SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED. OTHER BELIEVED THAT CHILDREN WHO ARE THAUGHT TO CO-OPERATE THAN COMPETE BECOME MORE USEFUL ADULTS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People always believe that we could be a better person by using positive mindset. To what extend do you agree?

Some people think that art lessons, such as painting and drawing lessons, should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apaartment?

Today social skills are being more and more emphasized by employers. Some people believe that social skills are important besides good qualifications for their job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Due to the availability of fast food nowadays, many people have low-quality diets. What problems can this cause? What can governments do to resolve these problems?