Shopping is now one of the most popular types of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#leisure #activity #countries #adults #development

In our contemporary society, adolescents of some countries are recreating by doing shopping in their spare

time

. From my perspective, several reasons could explain

this

tendency and show why shopping is beneficial for individuals.

To begin

with, there are two core factors

demonstrate

Correct pronoun usage

that demonstrate

show examples

the reason why youngsters are relaxing while doing shopping.

First

and foremost, an increasing number of humans prefer shopping during their spare

time

in order to find what they are looking for. By obtaining the desired product people feel

themselves

Remove the pronoun

apply

show examples

thrilled what helps people reduce stress and spend leisure

time

effectively.

Secondly

, some humans often dedicate their free

time

to window shopping in order to discover new items. To illustrate, there are many types of gadgets which youngsters have never heard about and find

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

very necessary in their studies or work. From my point of view, the aforementioned tendency is advantageous for

society

Add an article

the society

show examples

for a number of reasons.

Initially

, hormone namely ‘Serotonin’ is responsible for happiness and very beneficial to people’s organism. Since buying a desired product, serotonin starts to increase in our blood and leads to ameliorate well-being at all.

Furthermore

, shopping has an imperative impact on the profit of the company which sells

different

Change the article

a different

show examples

kind of goods.

Subsequently

, retail companies are making money while people buy their products. In conclusion, various aspects contribute to the reason why humans choose shopping as a way of spending their leisure

time

In addition

, I reaffirm my view that

this

tendency has a positive impact on retail companies and people’s health.

Submitted by baghirovanarmina on Tue Mar 23 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping is now one of the most popular types of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.