IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Over the past few decades, there
were
Change the verb form
was
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 a significant increase in
world’s
Correct article usage
the world’s
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 human
population
Use synonyms
. The majority believes that overpopulation might lead to problems and negatively impact
on
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apply
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society.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss some causes why
this
Linking Words
 has occurred and I completely agree that continues growth of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 might have a negative impact on society. One of the main factors driving
population
Use synonyms
 growth
is
Correct your spelling
in
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 advanced medicine. The continuous improvements in
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
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 industry have helped many
people
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 to stay healthy, live longer and improve
overall
Correct pronoun usage
their overall
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 quality of life.
Firstly
Linking Words
, medical facilities use
latest
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the latest
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 technology to effectively treat patients and develop a new solution to almost any illness.
For example
Linking Words
: 3D printing is a new tool
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used by doctors
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 shows all problematic areas inside and allow patients to have an organ built specifically to replace the faulty ones. Another important factor is that the world is more educated than ever before. Educated
people
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 feel safe and secure, they are financially stable and
therefore
Linking Words
 they can afford to have more children.
However
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, I agree that
explosion
Correct article usage
the explosion
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 of the world
population
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 leads to
number
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a number
the number
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 of issues in society, especially in underdeveloped countries. One of the biggest challenges of our time remains poverty, as Government are not able to provide basic needs
Linking Words
such
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with such
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food
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as food
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, clean drinking water, education, and healthcare.
Besides
Linking Words
,
people
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 living in unhealthy conditions are engaged in criminal activity.
For instance
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,
people
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 who are having less wealth
are often experience
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often experience
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 stress and anxiety, which puts a strain on
person
Correct article usage
a person
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 or family, and
this
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 can lead to troubles
such
Linking Words
 as violent or property crimes. To conclude, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of factors which creates continuous growth of
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
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population
Use synonyms
 and I consent that
this
Linking Words
 is one of the main problems the world facing today.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that the Government’s are taking
required
Correct article usage
the required
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 actions to mitigate and reduce
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 consequences of overpopulation.

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