More and more people are using internet nowadays for their personal things such as shopping and paying bills. Does advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society, an increasing number of individuals are using the opportunity of online
services
such
as shopping and paying bills. While certain drawbacks do pertain to
this
tendency, benefits are far more imperative to consider. On the one hand, online
services
appear to have some demerits. Utilizing different Internet
services
leads to detrimental consequences
such
as
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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lifestyle and inferior health. To illustrate, owing to
banking
Add an article
the banking
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system, people are able to pay their checks and buy any commodity they want.
Thus
, using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online
services
provides people with paying via their gadgets and not to leave homes.
Subsequently
, humans become inactive and unhealthy due to constant Internet using.
On the other hand
,
nevertheless
, it seems to me that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of
this
trend would be more considerable.
First
and foremost, online paying system and shopping are very convenient in all aspects.
For instance
,
instead
of holding the queue for paying in a shop, it is handier to click a
pay
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
button on the phone.
Secondly
, severe busy people cannot find
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spare time to visit
shop
Add an article
the shop
a shop
show examples
or pay their bills. So, they find online
services
are more appropriate during their short leisure time at work. To recapitulate, in spite of some negative aspects of networked
services
, it seems to me that the benefits of
this
tendency are far more significant due to
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
reasons.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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