IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people prefer to have temporary jobs, which means they only work a few months in a year and use the rest of the time to do what they want. What is your opinion?

#people #jobs #work #months #year #rest #time
Nowadays the income of each individual around the world has grown dramatically compared to decades ago. A group of
people
 take part-
time
 jobs only for certain months over a year
instead
 of long-term occupations
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and spend the rest of their
time
 on their
interests
. From my perspective, everyone has a right to live in a way even if it is off the beaten path.
One
 of the greatest benefits of having
interests
 is what these
people
 do are actually providing invaluable materials to all humans.
For example
, Isac Newton,
one
 of the most prominent scientists in the history of human being, spent most of his
time
 studying the common phenomenon and developing his theories of what has become the fundamental ground of modern physics today.
However
, Newton didn't mean to be a scientist,
actually
Add a comma
,actually
show examples
 he got his
first
 job as a factory worker. Those world-renowned experiments and theories derived from Newton's hobby during leisure
time
. For those who concern that taking part-
time
 jobs may not be able for
one
's livelihood,
one
 of their strongest reasons why is the
interests
 cannot be profitable.
However
, some are profitable, and even could help
one
 to earn a fortune. A recent survey conducted by Youtube evinced that more than 60% of YouTubers have higher income from their sponsors than their salary in daily works. Telling stories, sharing information, or maybe even just eating in front of the camera, all these youtube channel owners do are most likely to be their hobbies, and now a majority of these
people
 are relying on the income of their own accounts in social media. In conclusion, having temporary jobs and spending
time
 in
one
's love affair could be meaningful for our civilization. Realistically,
people
 could
also
 make money on their own
interests
 rather than having long contracted works.
Submitted by anike14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • pursue
  • self-development
  • life satisfaction
  • balance
  • job security
  • financial instability
  • stress and anxiety
  • unemployment
  • long-term financial commitments
  • diverse experiences
  • employability
  • broader perspective
  • adaptable
  • innovative
  • career progression
  • benefits
  • personal growth
  • financial security
  • invest
  • career milestones
What to do next:
Look at other essays: