Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

Nowadays almost everyone living on our planet is pursuing their own

success

. To achieve the goal, a group of people believe that effort and strong determination are both elementary while others contend that wealth and appearance play a more important role in the path to

success

of an individual. In

this

essay, I will discuss both opinions but I personally stand with the latter one. Admittedly, working hard with perseverance and fortitude is one of the most effective means for the majority of ordinaries to gain their own achievement. Most companies will reward their employees based on their performances and productivities. The more effort the workers spent, the higher chance to produce more. In fact, a variety of organizations around the world are encouraging their employee to work overtime

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and set a bonus salary for their extra effort.

However

, even it is true that toil can bring a predictable promotion to us, there are other ways as well that could lead us to our own

success

in a different way. Accomplishments could be achieved by not only buckling oneself down but

also

by his or her fortune or good looking.

This

is a popular way among celebrities. By funding a company or organization, they can earn a reputation or financial income from stocks.

For example

, Michael Jackson supported several environmental protection events which buys him a good title "Environment Fighter".

Furthermore

, an appealing appearance

also

draws attention. Taylor Swift is a typical example, she started with her singing career as a sweetheart girl because of her adorable face, and soon her songs sit on the throne on Billboard for years. In conclusion, indeed working hard can secure a bright future for most of us as an ordinary, but there are some other factors that could

also

lead to

success

such

as great fortune and mesmerizing appearance.

Submitted by anike14 on Fri Mar 26 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some people think residents should keep their streets clean and tidy while others say it is government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodmaking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?