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Band 5

In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for the public. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #trials #television #outweigh
In every
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
 Governments had always had to deal with
thief
Add an article
the thief
a thief
show examples
, assassins, hackers ,
in other words
,
criminals
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some
country
 where those people get their own trial shown on the screen.
This
Essay
Correct your spelling
essay
show examples
 will argue why it is important for every citizen to see on
tv
 what are the consequences of being a criminal. In the modern
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 more and more
country
such
 as Europe or
Correct your spelling
USA
Usa
Correct article usage
the Usa
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, in particular,
show examples
in particular
 decided to record criminal
trials
 with cameras and in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 there are many advantages in doing so.
This
 could be considered as a new way to educate people at home by showing what are the punishments that a
unrespectfull
Correct your spelling
respectful
unrespectful
 person had to deal with.
Therefore
, by showing criminal
trials
 the Governments
also
 illustrate to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society all of the disadvantages of being
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 assassin
for
example
. A recent study conducted by the Crime University in Washington shows that
this
 new strategy approached by the White House has reduced in the
last
 5 years the crimes by at least 10%. Indeed showing on the big screen trial has many more advantages. One major
ones
Change to a singular noun
one
show examples
coud
Correct your spelling
could
 be
for
example
 a case study for the crime students. Often students had to learn
causes
Add an article
the causes
show examples
 and
conseguences
Correct your spelling
consequences
 of being
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
criminals
a criminal
show examples
criminals
 from books at university and
this
 is often a slower way to get
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 by watching on
tv
trials
 they can put in place what they have learnt
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 school and
immagine
Correct your spelling
imagine
 if they were the judge, what punishment they would have given.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 there are indeed some disadvantages of showing
trials
 on
tv
.
Firsty
Correct your spelling
Firstly
First
, from the
criminals
Change to a genitive case
criminal's
criminals'
show examples
 point of view
Privacy
Add the comma(s)
,Privacy
show examples
 should be taken into considerations even if the person committed an offence, he
his
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a human and should have the same rights
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 other people.
Secondly
, showing
trials
 on
tv
 can encourage
small
Add an article
the small
show examples
 thief to give a try to commit an offence if they know
for
example
 that the punishment is
worted
Correct your spelling
worth
 the trial.
This
 Essay argued that the advantages are many more
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 the
disdvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
criminals
trials
 should be shown on
tv
 and even if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 were a criminal
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would accept the regret of
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
seein
Correct your spelling
seen
 by the
country
 as a bad person.
Submitted by gianlucaspadaitaly on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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