In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for the public. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

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In every
Use synonyms
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
Governments had always had to deal with
thief
Add an article
the thief
a thief
show examples
, assassins, hackers ,
in other words
Linking Words
,
criminals
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. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
some
country
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where those people get their own trial shown on the screen.
This
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Essay
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essay
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will argue why it is important for every citizen to see on
tv
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what are the consequences of being a criminal. In the modern
world
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,world
show examples
more and more
country
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such
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as Europe or
Correct your spelling
USA
Usa
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the Usa
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, in particular,
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in particular
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decided to record criminal
trials
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with cameras and in my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
there are many advantages in doing so.
This
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could be considered as a new way to educate people at home by showing what are the punishments that a
unrespectfull
Correct your spelling
respectful
unrespectful
person had to deal with.
Therefore
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, by showing criminal
trials
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the Governments
also
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illustrate to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society all of the disadvantages of being
a
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an
show examples
assassin
for
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example
Use synonyms
. A recent study conducted by the Crime University in Washington shows that
this
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new strategy approached by the White House has reduced in the
last
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5 years the crimes by at least 10%. Indeed showing on the big screen trial has many more advantages. One major
ones
Change to a singular noun
one
show examples
coud
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could
be
for
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example
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a case study for the crime students. Often students had to learn
causes
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the causes
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and
conseguences
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consequences
of being
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
criminals
a criminal
show examples
criminals
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from books at university and
this
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is often a slower way to get
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
.
For
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Use synonyms
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
by watching on
tv
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trials
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they can put in place what they have learnt
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from
show examples
form
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from
show examples
school and
immagine
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imagine
if they were the judge, what punishment they would have given.
On the other
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hand
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,hand
show examples
there are indeed some disadvantages of showing
trials
Use synonyms
on
tv
Use synonyms
.
Firsty
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Firstly
First
, from the
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criminals
Change to a genitive case
criminal's
criminals'
show examples
point of view
Privacy
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,Privacy
show examples
should be taken into considerations even if the person committed an offence, he
his
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
a human and should have the same rights
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
other people.
Secondly
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, showing
trials
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on
tv
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can encourage
small
Add an article
the small
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thief to give a try to commit an offence if they know
for
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example
Use synonyms
that the punishment is
worted
Correct your spelling
worth
the trial.
This
Linking Words
Essay argued that the advantages are many more
that
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than
show examples
the
disdvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
criminals
Use synonyms
trials
Use synonyms
should be shown on
tv
Use synonyms
and even if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
were a criminal
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would accept the regret of
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
seein
Correct your spelling
seen
by the
country
Use synonyms
as a bad person.
Submitted by gianlucaspadaitaly on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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