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Band 7.5

Some people think that governments should give financial support to artists ,musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #governments #support #artists #musicians #poets #waste #money
In the temporary world, people who work in the art industry need investment in order to develop. While many inhabitants believe that the government should alloted these people financially, I personally think that
instead
 of helping artist musician and poets, there are a lot of problems that need the government's investment. Given the financial backing to those who work in
this
 profession is essential to develop
this
 industry. Tourism attracts an enormous of tourists every year and culture and art plays a vital role.
Therefore
 financial support could be the best motivation for those in order to improve and enhance their ability.
Moreover
, if the art industry develops significantly children who dream of being an artist can overcome the barriers from their parents and society.
However
, it is indisputable that the money supporting those people is wasteful because there are some social problems that need contribution more than,
such
 as poverty. Some countries especially developed ones has to face with high poverty rate which could lead to a social gap or national debt. Let's take the CY country with the highest homeless and unemployed rate as an example. While there is a huge number of countries want to invest in a Heritage site, the authority wants to use the money for supporting fund which helps the poor can overcome and make a living to improve their standard. As a ,result the poverty rate declined sharply.
Furthermore
, financial support could be given to those who are talented in other fields so that the country could change positively. While it is obvious that musicians, artists and poets need a fund to support them, I still believe that there are more things that
also
 need the authority's investment.
Submitted by phuonglan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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