IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

the comparison of the production and the consumption of rice in X country the comparison of rice and other food crops consumed in X country

#comparison #production #consumption #rice #x #country #food #crops
The line graph and bar chart represented here
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the contrast
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the production and utilization of
rice
 and
also
 the comparison between
rice
 and other crops used as food
to consume
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in some of the
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
show examples
.
Overall
,
paddy
Correct article usage
the paddy
show examples
 plant is used less though its development is as much and
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rice
 is more
utilizes
Wrong verb form
utilised
show examples
 than other food products from the
year
 1990 to the
year
 2040. To commence with, in the
year
 1990 to 2010, paddy grain
develpment
Correct your spelling
development
 was nearly 25
million
tons
 and usage was steady
w hich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is between 25 to 50
million
tons
. Afterwards, from 2010 to 2040 there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a rise in the more sowed
rice
 plant at about 75
million
tons
 and
likewise
Add a comma
likewise,
show examples
 its utilization
also
 increased above 50
million
tons
 but is lower than its production.
Furthermore
, the population of that particular country take
rice
 in
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 less at about 50% than other crops which are taken above 50% in the
year
 1990.
However
, from the
year
 2000 to 2020, people
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
 paddy very much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly about and above 75% but
in contrast
 remaining items are preferred very
less
Replace the word
little
show examples
 which is near and below 25%.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, in 2040, the nation is taking
rice
 and other food equally to consume
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is above 50%.
Submitted by rohanshingala7781 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more effectively to enhance the logical flow of the essay. Use connectors and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Improve clarity by avoiding ambiguous phrasing and ensuring each idea is comprehensively described. Check for grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific data from the given charts/graphs to provide clearer examples and strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Clear introduction that outlines the essay's purpose and the types of data being discussed.
complete response
You successfully integrate changes over time in production and consumption of rice, as well as comparisons with other food crops.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: