IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #course #fees #study #university
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that tuition
fees
Use synonyms
 should be financed by the
government
Use synonyms
 to the
students
Use synonyms
 who aspire to take
education
Use synonyms
 at university. Even though I agree that the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest in other subjects, I do believe that proper funding of tuition
fees
Use synonyms
 by the
government
Use synonyms
 is crucial for the
students
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, the
government
Use synonyms
 should definitely allocate a huge part of its budget on educational costs because paying
education
Use synonyms
 expenditure is a significant part of
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 structure. The majority of
students
Use synonyms
 do not possess enough money, and thereby do not afford to take
education
Use synonyms
 at any university or college.
This
Linking Words
 support triggered by the
government
Use synonyms
 provides an advantage for
students
Use synonyms
, enrolling with a degree course and graduating with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great success from the university, during their academic and social life. Take some countries, which have been supporting a lot of enthusiastic
students
Use synonyms
 for so long, as a clear example; had the
students
Use synonyms
 not been supported by the
government
Use synonyms
, the number of educated people would not have increased.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend money on other needs because
families
Use synonyms
 could afford their children's higher
education
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by working a lot of
students
Use synonyms
 at any occupation, they might fund themselves.
This
Linking Words
 provides advance for both
families
Use synonyms
 and the
government
Use synonyms
. Not only
this
Linking Words
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not belong to responsible
families
Use synonyms
 and the
government
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 are responsible for tuition
fees
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 helps avoidance of financial burden for both
families
Use synonyms
 and
government
Use synonyms
 as well as experience for
students
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should finance other needs rather than course
fees
Use synonyms
. To
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 conclusion to be drawn, I agree that the
government
Use synonyms
 should allocate a large part of its budget to other needs of the society;
however
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that course
fees
Use synonyms
 should be financed by the
government
Use synonyms
 since it plays an important role for
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Ahmet Münir KOCAMAN on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: