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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #people #education
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Increasing the
crime
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rate
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 is one of the most difficult issues facing
by
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apply
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all governments and security organizations across the world. Many people believe putting offenders behind the bars is the best approach to reduce
the
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apply
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crime
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 rates.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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 view and in my
point
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 of view providing better
education
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 and employment assistance is the best approach to reduce the
crime
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rate
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. I know
this
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 is a debatable topic and I will explain why I reach
to
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apply
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my conclusion in the following essay.
Education
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 plays a vital role in building a safe and healthy society. Most of the
education
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 curriculums are developed to increase
values
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 like moral,
importance
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the importance
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about
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of
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 following the law, social and cultural
values
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in addition
Linking Words
 to academic progress. Once you learn these
values
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 during the school days these ideas will engrave
in to
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into
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scholar’s
Correct article usage
a scholar’s
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 brain and they will use these
values
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 throughout their life. Governments must arrange appropriate programs to make sure proper
education
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 is available in all age groups. One of the recent research results from UNICEF is underlining these facts because as per their assessment
crime
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rate
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 is very high in uneducated societies comparing to
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the educated
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educated
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oneseducated
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. One scary
point
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 in the report, kids who quit school during their elementary
education
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 had a high tendency to join criminal and mafia gangs. Another important
point
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 to consider is the
negatively
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negative
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 impact of prisons influence
in
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on
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 prisoners. Numerous people sentenced to
jail
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 return back as big criminals because they are influenced by born criminals living behind the bars. Another critical
point
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our
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in our
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 society is
mindset
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the mindset
a mindset
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 of people who are not ready to accept and accommodate if someone received
a
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apply
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punishment and sentenced to
jail
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. So, when they get released from prison if
the
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apply
show examples
society is not accepting them, they may automatically try to join some gangs. It is important to educate prisoners
some
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on some
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 sort of job because
this
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 will be helpful for them to earn a job once they released after the punishment term. Based on the facts I furnished above I strongly agree to provide better
education
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 based on moral
values
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 to everyone
instead
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 of sending them to
jail
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 because
this
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 will definitely help to reduce the
crime
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rate
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. At the same time, I support harsh
jail
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 punishment for cruel crimes like killing, raping, etc.
Finally
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,
government
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the government
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 must try to increase
the
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apply
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employment opportunities due to the fact that unemployment is the highest cause of
crime
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.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
What to do next:
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