Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People have different views about whether all wild
animals
should be well preserved or just a few. Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
a
Remove the article
apply
well
protection for wildlife could reduce the impact Change the adverb
good
from
human activities, I do Change preposition
of
believed
that a healthy environment should not be bothered Change the verb form
believe
from
Change preposition
by
human
and we can only Fix the agreement mistake
humans
safe
a few Replace the word
save
exticted
Correct your spelling
excited
extinct
animals
for the natural balance.
To begin
with, it is believed that all wild animals
should be protected because their living environment had
damaged Wrong verb form
has been
from
human activity. Many kinds of wild Change preposition
by
animals
has
found Change the verb form
have
difficult
to find Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
a suitable habitats
to live Correct the article-noun agreement
a suitable habitat
suitable habitats
or
to search Change preposition
in or
the
food they need. It is undeniable that the decreasing population Change preposition
for the
on
some wild Change preposition
of
animals
are caued
by human activity as more and more forests and water Correct your spelling
caused
had
been polluted and Wrong verb form
have
destory
. Correct your spelling
destroyed
destroy
Therefore
, some people think that all wild creature
should be well preserved as Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
theire
habitat and food resources are decreasing.
Correct your spelling
their
On the other hand
, I do believe that only a few animals
should be preserved when it potential impact on the enviornment
. Some sort of wild animal could be a sign of the environmental damage, it could be a potential threat to Correct your spelling
environment
the
Correct article usage
apply
human
if they are exticted. Take Fix the agreement mistake
humans
an
example of Correct article usage
the
polar
Add an article
the polar
a polar
bear
, many conservationists try to protect them, not only to save the Fix the agreement mistake
bears
reducing
number of them but Replace the word
reduced
also
the
melting ice of their habitat have Correct word choice
because the
cause
the Wrong verb form
caused
increasing
Replace the word
increase
of
sea Change preposition
in
level
. We are all part of Fix the agreement mistake
levels
ecosystem
on earth, the wildlife nature should be well balanced from all creatures and Add an article
the ecosystem
human
should protect those rare precious creatures.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
humans
although
many people think that human
should protect all the wild Fix the agreement mistake
humans
animals
because we had
Wrong verb form
have
ocuppied
Correct your spelling
occupied
the
most Correct article usage
apply
of
places from them. From the environmental perspective, I do Change preposition
apply
believed
that only Change the verb form
believe
Correct article usage
a fewer
fewer
wild Replace the word
few
animals
should be protected.Submitted by Christy's Kitchen on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay to ensure clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide a more complete response by addressing both views more thoroughly and offering a clear opinion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite