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Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reason

#people #music #impact #effect #reason
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Music
Use synonyms
 is a treatment for
mind
Add an article
the mind
show examples
 of
people
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.There
people
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 supporting and opposing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
music
Use synonyms
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is not a matter the
music
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 is traditional or modern,
people
Use synonyms
 really happy to enjoy the
music
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
medern
Correct your spelling
modern
music
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. On the one hand,
music
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 plays an important role in human being
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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relaxation.In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
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 many folks are
listening
Add the preposition
tolistening
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music
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 to divert their restless mind.Modern
music
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 does have the special impact to mould the happiest life in mankind.There are
wide
Add an article
a wide
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 variety of
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as pop
music
Use synonyms
 and jazz are
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
particular in that.The new generation
are
Change the verb form
is
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 really enjoying it too.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 the negative aspects are,after the nurturing of modern
music
Use synonyms
 the traditional songs
are get
Change the verb form
are getting
show examples
 out of the industry.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the melodies completely swept away from the industry.
This
Linking Words
 made the
people
Use synonyms
 become
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 thinkers.Pop and jazz cannot provide
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lively effect.
However
Linking Words
,in my personal way of thinking,traditional songs have a special role in humanity. To conclude,
Although
Linking Words
 modern
music
Use synonyms
 never
replace
Change the verb form
replaces
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 the effect of
ancient
Add an article
the ancient
an ancient
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 one,the reality is
people
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 are just enjoying
because
Correct pronoun usage
it because
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 they do not have any other options.
Submitted by margushobi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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