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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reason

#people #music #impact #effect #reason
Music
 is a treatment for
mind
Add an article
the mind
show examples
 of
people
.There
people
 supporting and opposing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
music
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is not a matter the
music
 is traditional or modern,
people
 really happy to enjoy the
music
.
This
 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
medern
Correct your spelling
modern
music
. On the one hand,
music
 plays an important role in human being
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relaxation.In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 many folks are
listening
Add the preposition
tolistening
show examples
music
 to divert their restless mind.Modern
music
 does have the special impact to mould the happiest life in mankind.There are
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 variety of
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
such
 as pop
music
 and jazz are
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
particular in that.The new generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 really enjoying it too.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 the negative aspects are,after the nurturing of modern
music
 the traditional songs
are get
Change the verb form
are getting
show examples
 out of the industry.
Moreover
,the melodies completely swept away from the industry.
This
 made the
people
 become
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 thinkers.Pop and jazz cannot provide
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lively effect.
However
,in my personal way of thinking,traditional songs have a special role in humanity. To conclude,
Although
 modern
music
 never
replace
Change the verb form
replaces
show examples
 the effect of
ancient
Add an article
the ancient
an ancient
show examples
 one,the reality is
people
 are just enjoying
because
Correct pronoun usage
it because
show examples
 they do not have any other options.
Submitted by margushobi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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