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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #time #centers #effect #youths #society
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At present, spending
time
 in shopping malls for leisure has become a trend among adults. Many
people
 argue that
this
 is not healthy, because of the negative consequences. I totally agree with the statement. Many youthful
people
 waste their day and night in shopping complexes with no purposes. Most of the
time
,
people
 spend their
time
 in stores just for nothing. They roam around for window shopping, meeting friends or having coffee.
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
, they skip their classes and other academic works just to visit there. A recent survey in the USA shows that 85% of
time
 spend in outlet malls by young individuals was lost on just for idling, and it was spent with no productive outcome.
Adolescent
Add an article
The adolescent
show examples
 period is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
very vulnerable
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 and development of
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
 and mind. Shopping plazas
are not helping to achieve none
Rewrite the sentence
are not helping to achieve any
are helping to achieve none
show examples
 of these positively.
Instead
 of wasting their free
time
 in mega markets, young
people
 can use it in several other beneficial ways, which are helpful to their personal and social improvement.
For example
, going to a library, playground or gymnasium will be much useful. Because it will help them in several ways for their future career development. In conclusion, even though killing free hours
in store
Add a hyphen
in-store
show examples
 complexes is a growing fashion among adults,
this
 has many negative influences on them.
Therefore
, young
people
 should be guided by alternative measures to spend their leisure
time
 effectively.
Submitted by ars on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer culture
  • Materialism
  • Youth culture
  • Commercialization
  • Passive consumption
  • Social conformity
  • Economic stimulation
  • Financial literacy
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Local enterprises
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Intellectual stimulation
  • Alternative pastimes
  • Community engagement
  • Peer influence
  • Escapism
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