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Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #information #address #telephone #purposes #networks #development
A lot of people provide social networks and Banks with their personal information online in order to receive their
services
. People are concerned whether
this
develpoment
Correct your spelling
development
 is positive or not. I am going to discuss the pros and the drawbacks considering
this
phenomenom
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 and the reason why
this
 is mostly a negative development.
Firstly
, it is really important to underline that the corporations that we share our private details with have the legal duty to protect and keep our
data
 secret, most of the time they succeed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 doing so.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
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 through sharing our
data
 with those Social networks, they achieve on making their service more fitting to our own tastes,
therefore
 we enjoy their product more.
For instance
, in most Social platforms nowadays, if we accept
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sharing our private information like our location, our habits and the topics that draw
draw
Remove the redundancy
apply
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from us the most attention and interest,
this
 will result
on
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in
show examples
 the platform proposing posts and adverts closer to our taste. On the other side of the spectrum, it is concerning how used we are
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 sharing
such
 private
data
 with so many
Services
 that require so. Even
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
thought
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
 that most companies succeed
on
Change preposition
in
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 securing our information, it is not that unusual for them to leak, sell and sometimes them being actually unsuccessful
on
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in
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 protecting them.
This
 stolen
data
 may result
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it being used in various ways, from strangers entering our Social network accounts to robbing off our balance in Online Banking
services
. To sum up, we can indeed be benefited from sharing our personal details with online networks and
services
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 there is a huge risk
on
Change preposition
of
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 doing so
that is
 often underestimated by most people.
This
 primary drawback is the reason why I believe that
this
phenomenom
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 is mostly a negative
develpment
Correct your spelling
development
 for us and our security.
Submitted by Joanna on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ease of access
  • interconnected
  • communication
  • commerce
  • identity theft
  • privacy invasions
  • digitization
  • fraudulent activities
  • financial losses
  • reliance
  • digital profiles
  • social inequalities
  • cybersecurity measures
  • mitigate
  • digital convenience
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • online validation
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