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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend positive or negative effects on the society?

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Today, there is a higher proportion of older
people
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 among the entire population in the world. Its pessimistic effects outweigh its positive ones. No one can deny that older
people
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 might be helpful in several aspects. Longevity enables them to retain their posts, in which they normally have expertise. They are able to impart their knowledge and skills to the younger
people
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 as consultants.
For example
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, senior managers tend to teach junior colleagues how to manage a company.
Secondly
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, the elder always helps to keep eye on the grandson\ granddaughter. sometimes they do the chores to save their children's
time
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, they have
time
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 to what they what do. Yet, senile persons would some help for society and family, at the same
time
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 they may put exert on medical costs. Eldy
people
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 are prone to health problems
such
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 as heart disease, arthritis. They will result in financial strains on their family members.
besides
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, they
also
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 concerning the
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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 effects on society. several aged
people
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 will lead to a shortage of workforces.
Furthermore
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, they will
also
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 go a long way towards creating high tension for the country. In a word,
although
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 senior citizens might contribute with their experience and free
time
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, the demerits they bring far overwhelm their merits.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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