IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

As well as making money businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
Many different views relating to types of companies’ obligation are available. In my opinion, I strongly agree that earning more and more money is an important target for every business.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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, I
also
 believe that social responsibilities are one of
parts
Correct article usage
the parts
show examples
 that corporations should have. On the one hand, it is thought that generating profits plays
an
Change the article
a
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 significant role for each company.
Firstly
, if a company’s finance is likely to be adequate enough for covering its bills, it has to run into debts.
For example
, once broke out, the COVID-19 has made a terrific impact on the business activities;
Correct your spelling
therefore
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therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
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, the income of businesses has been reduced significantly making some of them go bankrupt
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 affects the economy of countries.
Moreover
, when developing, the corporation can give many job opportunities for
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
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, which
assisting
Change the form of the verb
assist
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 to reduce social evils.
On the other hand
, while
expending
Correct your spelling
expanding
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 possession is
total
Change the adjective
totally
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 necessary, companies still have to contribute
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 responsibilities
for
Change preposition
to
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community
Add an article
the community
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.
First
 of all, the more
a
Change the article
the
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 number of factories increase, the more serious the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 damage is.
For instance
, VEDAN company is known as a culprit to make the river contaminate, so it needs to give some measures to solve
this
 problem.
Secondly
, the businesses ought to build some constructions for society or praise a fund for poor or talented students. These activities not only help those people overcome their less fortunate condition, but they
also
 improve corporations’ images or develop
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 brand. To sum up, in spite of making profits is important for every company, I think that they
also
 practise their social obligation.
Submitted by minanguyen1211 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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