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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
It goes without saying that companies have
becoming
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become
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 increasingly competitive throughout the years, especially in capitalist nations.
As a result
, several individuals work overtime on a daily basis in order to accomplish their job responsibilities,
although
 they overlook their leisure time. In
this
 context, I tend to believe that it is harmful to employees as it may bring more problems than benefits.
Firstly
, the obvious argument against it is that extra hours hinder a great number of people from enjoying valuable moments with their families,
such
 as a birthday party
,
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apply
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 since they can not be present.
Furthermore
, despite knowing that toddlers grow up rapidly, some parents do not spend sufficient time with them as they need to earn money to support their families. Another downside is that overloaded individuals tend to
develop mental
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developmental
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 disorders considering that they do not have days off to relax their minds. Take burnout syndrome as an example, it is a response to
a
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apply
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significant stress in the workplace.
Moreover
, it is undoubtedly true that a shortage of joyful activities impacts one’s creativity and productivity, resulting in poor performances in business. There are,
however
, some advantages. It is widely known that workaholics are likely to succeed because of their commitment
with
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to
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 the companies, which makes them
to
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apply
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thrive in life.
In addition
 to that, managers not only value striving professionals
,
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 but
also
 reward them for excellent achievements whenever is possible.
Consequently
, some people work hard nowadays to receive a promotion or another kind of benefit. To sum up, it is undeniable that working long hours bring some advantages, particularly in terms of career.
Nevertheless
, from my point of view, the negative aspects outweigh the positive ones in
this
 situation.
Submitted by alves.marilia on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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