Prison is the common way in most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #people #education

Nowadays experts throughout both the developing and developed

world

have debated whether

prison

is the best way to decrease the number of offences or providing better

education

could solve the problem of

crime

in the modern

world

This

essay will discuss both sides using examples from the latest research to demonstrate points and prove arguments.

Firstly

, developed countries with affordable

education

systems have less

criminal

Replace the word

crime

show examples

rate than

Third

World

countries, where

education

is poor and unnecessary. I could propose that the crucial reason

Change preposition

for this

show examples

this phenomena

Change the determiner

this phenomenon

these phenomena

show examples

is that

education

gives us

possibility

Add an article

the possibility

a possibility

show examples

for work

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it develops various skills and knowledge. Tus,

people

could earn money legally.

In addition

, schooling

instills

Change the spelling

instils

show examples

ideas of good and evil.

Therefore

crime

could be predicted by providing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better

education

. The

second

reason why I agree,

however

, is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nowadays the

world

has a huge amount of criminals,especially in disadvantaged countries. I am not a supporter of

prison

, but if they are released from

prison

then

there is a high probability that they will commit crimes again. Recent research of

American

Correct article usage

the American

show examples

Psychological Association showed that

people

who

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

commit

crime

once,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have a higher probability to do it again, than

people

who never broke the law.

Therefore

prison

is a necessary measure for public safety. In conclusion, from the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that

education

could predict

crime

, having raised honest and respectable

people

, which is important, giving them knowledge and the ability to earn a living without breaking the laws.

Submitted by ekaterina.kosheleva.2016 on Sat Apr 03 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

tackles root causes
preventative approach
critical thinking
decision-making skills
recidivism rates
equipping
socio-economic benefits
underlying factors
poverty
ignorance
lack of opportunities
rehabilitation
ineffective
higher rates of re-offending

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Prison is the common way in most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Task 2: In some countries, more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Discuss both views

Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages togeather. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?