Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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modern world,
people
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travel
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a lot both for their work and leisure time.
Thus
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,
air
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travel
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's importance has significantly increased in
this
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millennium.
However
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, some folks believe that
this
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air
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travel
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benefits only the rich
people
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and not the common ones. But, in reality, I believe general folks are equally benefited as well.
Hence
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, I disagree with the statement and I have the following reasons to support my stance.
Firstly
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, the ticket prices of airlines have significantly reduced over the past few decades.
This
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is mainly
due to
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the increased competition in the airline sector.
Hence
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, these companies set competitive pricing to attract more customers, which led to the onset of budget carriers. The main customers of these flights are the normal budget travellers, who tend to enjoy the same benefits as the rich
people
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and can
travel
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to new exotic places they wish.
Secondly
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, just like any other service,
air
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travel
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pricing is primarily based on demand.
Hence
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, if a common man travels during a peak time, they shelve extra money to purchase tickets.
Instead
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, if they could plan early and avoid these rush seasons, they could get pricing discounts.
For instance
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, rather than booking tickets for Christmas only by November, if they can book 6 months early, they could enjoy discounted pricing, which can really benefit common travellers. So
to conclude
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, in my opinion, both the rich and the ordinary have equally benefited from
air
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travel
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nowadays. Increased revenue from the airline sector is a great testament to prove that
air
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travel
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is the preferred medium
due to
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the many benefits it brings to the travellers and common
people
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are benefited as well.
Submitted by nusramkumar on

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Task Achievement
Great job presenting a clear thesis statement and supporting arguments. To further enhance task achievement, ensure a balanced discussion of both sides even if you disagree with one. This can demonstrate an ability to analyze complex ideas from multiple perspectives.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs using a variety of transitional phrases. For example, introduce contrasts with 'However' or 'On the other hand' to enhance flow and clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This enhances the logical structure. You've done well with this, but ensure it is consistently applied to all paragraphs for stronger coherence.
Task Achievement
You effectively used examples to support your points, especially when discussing ticket price trends and planning strategies for common people, which strengthens your task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend your essay, clearly presenting and summarising your main ideas. This structure is crucial for both coherence and cohesion as well as task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessible
  • democratised
  • low-cost carriers
  • budget airlines
  • globalization
  • international trade
  • luxury experiences
  • affordable flights
  • cultural exchange
  • environmental impact
  • eco-friendly
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