The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services

It is argued by many that governments should spend more money to support the public services

instead

of wasting money and resources in arts, music and

theatre related

Add a hyphen

theatre-related

show examples

aspects. In

this

essay, I will explain why I cannot completely agree with

this

statement.

To begin

with, it is true that there are many more serious problems in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society that the government should address in a higher priority.

For instance

, health care and

unemployment

Add an article

the unemployment

show examples

rate is always the major concern in many countries, which many individuals who either cannot afford or have to

be waited

Change to the active voice

wait

have waited

show examples

in a long queue in order to get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

proper treatment for their illness.

Moreover

, there are many families who currently suffering from

proverty

Correct your spelling

poverty

, cannot even have access to the basic need for their livings.

Therefore

, it is very crucial for governments to support in

this

area and helping their citizens to improve their lives.

On the other hand

, Art, music and theatre

also

play an important role, it

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

creativity and promotes the harmony in the society as well as educating people about the country's cultural and history.

Moreover

, entertainment is

also

necessary for the working force in a country in order to maintain the mental health of

individual

Add an article

an individual

the individual

show examples

As a result

, it is

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

to the nation's productivity level and economy. It is obvious that, for a country with no art and entertainment, it will turn into a dull place where people will lose the motivation to keep up their works. In conclusion, it is clear that government should prioritise their funding to address the immediate problems in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

However

, it is

also

important to make a balance and allocate resources to support the art and entertainment areas.

Submitted by rachel_mw1214 on Sun Apr 04 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
public services
economic benefits
mental health
well-being
equitable access
creativity
innovation
prioritize
essential services
healthcare
education
tourism
global recognition
holistic development
mutually exclusive
philanthropy
subsidize
infrastructure
socio-economic status
altruistic
civic engagement
aesthetics
civic pride
utilitarian

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The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

While some people like to live at home, other people think that living in an apartment has more advantages. Discuss both views.

With the fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Some people argue that there is no point in preserving old buildings when land is so valuable in our cities. Others believe that old buildings are an important part of our heritage and should be preserved.

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?