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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar charts below provide information about percentages of students who are proficient in foreign language in different countries.

The bar charts below provide information about percentages of students who are proficient in foreign language in different countries.
#bar #information #percentages #students #language #countries
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The bar charts depict the data about the proportions of proficiency in a foreign language by
the
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students in different nations. It is evident that the percentage of a female category is higher than the male in all the countries,
whereas
 Indian females are higher in
number
 among all the countries.
To begin
,
while
 comparing, India is
at
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number
 1, having 18%
male
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males
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 and 68% females among all the nations. The
next
, Romanian female contributes slightly less for
number
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the number
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in
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of
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 ladies
that is
 65
along with
 gents
that is
 42
in
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per cent with a place of 2nd
number
.
Whereas
 women and men
of
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in
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 Vietnam
considered
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are considered
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as
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at
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 a rate of fifty-eight and thirty-eight, respectively.
Furthermore
, The
Russians
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Russian
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 female and
male
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males
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 are contributing
to
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39 and 42 per cent
for
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each. In the
second
-lowest country, Thailand,
the
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female around approximately 29 in ratio and
men
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the men
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 are around 30.
Lastly
, China, the lowest contributed country,
having
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has
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 only 1/5th of females and 2/3rd of men.
To sum up
, India
having
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has
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citizens that are more proficient in the Western language
whereas
 china is at least
with
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male-female who are enough proficient.
Submitted by jaswinderkaurmahal1993 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is, whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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