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Band 6

Nowadays people are trying to have a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems could this create? How can people overcome them?

#people #career #life #time #create
In their pursuit of happiness
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 today are facing a difficult dilemma. They see themselves balancing their carrier and family
life
 simultaneously as
this
 being the only way to obtain total accomplishment in the modern world. What are the obstacles they may face and what are the sacrifices they must do in order to surmount these impediments? The lack of
time
 seems to be the leading challenge when it comes to balancing carrier and family
life
. Young people need
first
 to graduate from a university, in order to get a good job and doing so they must sacrifice a good part of their youth. While being students they must dedicate their undivided
time
 to their education,
therefore
 starting a family is out of the question.
This
 trend is perhaps most prominent among Japanese students. According to a statistic about the mean age at
first
 marriage, men and women in Japan are getting married later than previous generations. A
second
 provocation is now awaiting them.
This
 is finding the right partner with
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 they can share their dream. The problem now is most of them are inexperienced when it comes to romantic relations and dating.
This
 again is a common problem amongst Japanese people, mostly men. They practically act like teenagers, being too shy to approach women, as
this
 may be the
first
time
 when they do
this
.
Finally
, they marry the right person, it does not stop here. Now again
time
 may prove to be the worst enemy. They ought now to govern their
time
 wisely between job and family in order to make them both work at their best, which is not an easy task. In conclusion, finding the right symmetry between family
life
 and career is key in having a fulfilling
life
.
However
, occasionally,
this
 may mean to slightly compromises one in favour of the other.
Submitted by alinmuresan.c on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Balancing
  • Burnout
  • Juggling responsibilities
  • Neglecting
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Dissatisfaction
  • Setting realistic goals
  • Priorities
  • Fulfillment
  • Effective time management
  • Allocation
  • Reducing stress
  • Seeking support
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Balanced life
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